Hello Monday

Goodbye weekend, hello Miscellany Monday!

1.  Girls' Weekend 2011.  Yesterday I returned home from some wonderfully much needed girlfriend time.  Several years ago God beautifully orchestrated a group of amazing women to come together for bible study, friendship, and simply doing life together in Cincinnati.  We all came to the group at different times, but when we met we were all in early/mid twenties, not married, no kids.  So we've been through a lot.  Since then we have been scattered to different states and we are all 30 or over and in all kinds of different seasons of life.  There has been some serious heartache and some beautifully answered prayers in that sweet circle of friends; times when we've stayed in touch well, and times when we've been less connected.  Yet our friendships remain.  It takes a long time to develop deep friendships when you move to a new area and go through some major life transitions like I did a couple years ago.  Definitely some sadness comes a long with that.  Needless to say, it was a joy to be together again for some time away.  We all agreed that the friendships in that group are more like family, and it's just not something that can be recreated.  Our weekend was filled with talking and laughing until our throats hurt, crying together, praying together, and eating some seriously yummy food.  I think most of all we experienced how life giving it is just to have your heart heard, especially by the people who have seen you through much of that life that has carried you to this moment.  Those friends are my soul friends - the ones who will cry with me in my darkest moments, rejoice with me in the best ones.  We are prayer warriors for each other.  I am so grateful.  (And yet I took no pictures...little makeup, lots of pajama wearing...so I'll have to borrow a few from others and share them later!)  Thank you friends for the fun time!!

2.  Baby registry - advice needed!  So after spending so much time with friends who shared all their baby/birth/parenting stories and pumped me up for mine, I came back ready to register.  It's time to get ready for this baby!  (Shocking as that may be to me!!)  So Kevin and I went to Target, signed up to get one of those gun things, and tried to bust a move.  Easier said than done.  So I need some advice from you!!  What are your favorite lists to work from?  What store do you like to start at?  Where should I register?  (I'm thinking Babies R Us, Target, and Amazon)  Kevin loves to have a plan, and I realize I need one!  I've taken care of lots of babies....but never lived with one! :)  Where in the world do you start, and how do you make the best choice on more specific items when a list just gives you generic ideas?  Anyone still with me?  Help!! 

source

3.  Sweet surrender.  Okay, when you are preparing for your first child, I'm finding that other people's birthing and parenting "war stories" can get me a little crazy if I let them.  (Though at the same time I love reading every single detail of all your birth stories...I'm just so weird right now in real life!! :) Wondering what it will be like for me, getting overwhelmed with the unknown, hearing that "if you think you're getting big/uncomfortable/in pain now, just wait until you're further along!"....it can all get to be a bit much sometimes at this stage of the game.  Of course no one is ill willed, just wanting to share their experience and help me prepare.  I guess I like to live in denial for now. ;)  If you're a bit of a psycho overthinker like me, you have to be very discerning about what to embrace and absorb.  And I'm learning to simply surrender...one day at a time.  I don't know if it's the pregnancy, hormones, or what, but lately I just desire quiet peace.  Especially in my heart.  Like resting in the calm before the storm, and just enjoying that calm.  I want to experience the freedom of trust.  Knowing that this peace and trust is a fruit of the spirit, a result of being connected to the vine, I know now more than ever I need to get connected to Him. 

"You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You." Isaiah 26:3

"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:7

4.  A great idea!  Recently I found an awesome idea in a Family Fun magazine.  I don't know about you, but I just hate to throw away cards that people get me for any occasion.  I'm just too sentimental.  However my husband doesn't like the paper pile up, and doesn't think I can really enjoy them the way I have them stored.  So in this magazine I found something that will change my life - making a book out of the cards!  Seems so simple, but genius!  I have lots of leftover metal rings from teaching, so I am planning on punching 2 or 3 holes in the cards, making a cute cover out of  cardstock and maybe something sturdier, then putting them on a shelf or in a basket to enjoy....when I get all this out of storage of course! This will be wonderful to start out for my little person this summer!

Find this super cute idea and the source for this picture here!

5.  Reading this and loving it - I was recently reading the blog, 1+1+1=1, and found a great resource about biblical parenting called Raising Godly Tomatoes.  What's awesome is you can read the whole thing online.  I know there are a million and one opinions on sleep schedules, godly discipline, etc., but I love what the author of this book has to say so far.  I know that every child is different and what our baby will be like is unpredictable at this point, but I'd like to be somewhat prepared, and I know I have more time now than when I'm sleep deprived!  If you've heard of it I'd love to know what you think.  If not, check it out and let me know! 

That's all for now.  More to come this week like new preggo pics and how imperfect I truly am.  Exciting, right? :)  I know I fit a ridiculous amount of words into these posts - imagine talking to me in real life!!!  Also, if I haven't told you enough, your kind words mean the world to me!  I can't tell you what an encouragement you are - so THANK YOU!!!

I Like the Way You Move (Details at 20 Weeks!)

(That's the log cabin!!)

(We decided on this night my belly totally looked like an Easter egg!  Will we be painting it in a couple weeks on vacation??  Of course! :)

I am 20 weeks pregnant!!! Half way there, can you believe it!? We had our big ultrasound appointment Monday and stayed strong with our decision not to find out. Though that was a bit tough for me. The ultrasound tech was so sweet and let me ask a million questions. I told her how crazy it was that she is the only person in the world to know what we're having!
My sweet little dancer is having quite the party in me these days!  It's the most amazing feeling.  I would say if I had been confident about what I had been feeling that I felt movement for the first time around 18 weeks.  A little kick or punch here or there.  Then last Tuesday Kevin and I got mini blizzards at Dairy Queen, and while watching a movie I definitely felt Baby Love do some sort of swimming...it felt like a big bubble.  Very cute and very exciting!  (I think the strawberry cheesequake blizzard helped!)

Then came the ultrasound and seeing our precious baby!!!  Wow.  It was so emotional and wonderful and sweet.  So neat to see how he/she has developed...and of course I think Baby Love is SOOO cute!  :)  It definitely made me want to hold and comfort him or her....though I know he or she is quite cozy and happy in there for now!  We only got a couple photos of that sweet face because the little thing was being quite shy and facing my back most of the time.  (I'll share those soon!)  I just can't wait to find out if it's a boy or a girl...I do believe the surprise will be worth it, but the wait is hard!!  After seeing the baby, then talking to the ultrasound tech/doctor about what makes him/her move the most as well as what that might feel like, I am very much more aware of the baby's movements.  It's almost like I'm more in tuned to them because I saw the little one who's in there doing it!  Crazy.  And I love every second.  I actually prefer to feel the movements as a reminder of my baby's life.  So wake up little one!

I will say that these days I just want to let the tears flow.  I understand the hormones will do that to you, but I also think it's by God's design.  Letting your tears fall is so therapeutic, so natural to how God designed us.  And they're such a reminder of our need for Him.  I'm also not afraid to say I'm having strong moments of feeling overwhelmed lately.  It's taking me a lot of energy to find something that I like to eat on a consistent basis.  Still getting sick and feeling nauseous.  And I'm so very tired.  Both my mind and my body have definitely entered the mom world.  I think a lot about being a good mom now and when the baby comes.  There's so much I want to be doing more consistently.  I'm also not at all a good shopper but in the next couple days I have to take the maternity clothes plunge.  Reality has hit!  I just so badly want to stay positive and enjoy it all.  And truthfully I really am enjoying it in my heart - so fascinating and sweet, even if my body's having a hard time. :)

Other fun facts:

Weight gain: According to the doctor - 4lbs.  According to me, (from the day I found out) - 8lbs.

Baby Size: Sweet thing is the size of a melon! (Maybe if he/she rolled up into a ball??) And the length of a banana!

Names: We have a boy name and a girl name, and I love them.  I look forward to explaining their meanings and why we chose them to Baby Love.  Isn't it crazy but fun how we all have such different tastes and ideas when it comes to naming children?!  A special privilege for sure.

Nursery: I'm going for bright, whimsical, modern, and nostalgic.  We'll see how that goes on a tight budget once we have a place to live!!  Some of my favorite sites for inspiration are Oh Dee Doh, Project Nursery, Petit Collage, Etsy, and Layla Grace.  The blog world is my best friend when it comes to help with this.  Oh how I wish I'd been blogging when I got married! :)

Cravings: Food from one of our favorite restaurants that someone else prepares.  Like a house salad with extra cucumbers, tomatoes, and croutons, with honey mustard and tangy tomato dressing, and a sweet potato and brown bread from Outback.  Or crabcakes, mashed potatoes and warm bread from Mitchell's. Yum.  Food prep and the smell of our own living space is the greatest challenge for me, unfortunately.  (Not that we smell, but you know what I mean! :)  Too bad this is the most budget friendly option!!  And we've actually been living in other people's spaces since we became pregnant, so maybe this contributes??

Maternity clothes: My mom just got me some super cute tops and a pair of pajama pants.  Just in time.  Now I'm on the lookout for some cute skirts and dresses to live in!

Sleeping:  Difficult.  I have never ever slept on my side, so it's been a struggle for me.  I also have crazy dreams.  Last night I dreamt the baby kicked so hard that it's little toes came out of my belly.  Then it crawled out the side of my stomach...and it was a baby doll with curly brown hair!!  What?!  No wonder I'm so tired and overwhelmed.  Ha ha.  I remember panicking and wondering if the doctor could put it back in to keep growing!

Other thoughts:  We have been doing a lot of thinking and praying about the things we want to be most consistent with when it comes to our child.  I think a lot about what I want our home to be like or the different routines I want to do with the baby.  (Singing, reading, praying, etc.)  We also started watching a 5 session dvd series called "Right From the Start," by Barbara and Dennis Rainey.  We watched the first one this week and had a great conversation about the values we want to be the foundation of our family, and how we want to start discipling/training up our little one in the Lord. I know we'll have good days, bad days, and sleep deprived days, and always be in desperate need of God's grace to cover this!

Fun moments: The 20 week ultrasound, and the fact that my mom and grandma were able to come to town for it...feeling the baby move a lot more...wearing my first maternity clothes...having a sweet little 4 yr. old girl at church ask me what I was going to name the baby...having pics of our sweet Baby Love!!!

Verses I am claiming:

"Do not worry then, saying, 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we drink?' or 'What will we wear for clothing?'....your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.  But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.  So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own."  Matthew 6:31-34

"Let everything that has breath praise the Lord." Psalm 150:6

Miscellany Monday

I love that I am writing this post on Spring Break in the midst of a cozy, wonderful thunderstorm. This is one thing I love about spring!

source



1.  Wonderful news!  Who would have thought that just a few short weeks after announcing I am pregnant, my sweet friend Cait from "the blessed life" would announce she is too!!!  Last year she and I taught together, with our classrooms side-by-side.  We shared many wonderful discussions about life, God, marriage, teaching, blogging, and the future.  She has been such a kind and generous source of encouragement to me.  Who would have thought that this year we would be expecting sweet little ones just six weeks apart!  I am so thrilled for my dear, sweet friend, and I look forward to sharing more of this journey with her.  Please hop over to her blog to celebrate with her and her hubby!

2.  Still sick.  This adorable bundle of blessing growing inside me is still affecting me with some seriously persistent nauseousness.  Not the worst case, but enough to make it hard for me to eat large amounts of anything, or much of a variety.  I'm kind of used to it though, and all along I've said I'll go through whatever I have to for this baby.  Even if it lasts the entire time, I know it will come to an end when that new little life begins!  More than worth it.

3.  Log cabin living.  While I am honestly enjoying the quiet, serene, and cozy log cabin living, my heart is going through some moments of serious wonder about where we'll end up.  I'm loving this set up, but it is not long-term.  Please pray that God provides a home for us at just the right time.  I've not gotten anxious so far in this process, and I really don't want to start.  I know that He will provide, and I'm looking forward to preparing and setting up for Baby Love in our own place.

4.  Storytime.  I think I've mentioned that my husband is part of the staff of a multi-site church campus, which is an extension of the main, much larger church in the area.  Anyway, the campus launched in January, and while it's been a lot of work, it's been fun to build community there and invest in one particular part of the city.  On Sunday mornings I have been the "storyteller" for the 3-5 yr. old's chapel or large group time.  I tell the main bible story that the small group Sunday school teachers will reiterate with activities.  It has been so much fun!  I've quickly learned how good it is for me to have to get excited and silly in front of about 30 - 40 kids each week.  I have loved seeing their amazement at Jesus' life and all the ways he loved others in the Bible and loves us now.  It's also gotten me excited about stories with my own children, and I've been checking out some great sites with resources.  One of my favorites is Hubbard's Cupboard.  Lots of great info. for teaching little ones!

5.  Go Butler!  A born and raised Hoosier at heart, I LOVE March Madness!!!  I get so nervous every year when I'm filling out my brackets, then quickly make my way to the bottom of the standings and toss it out! :)  It seems like every game this year has been a great one - so much fun to watch.  Though I am sad for my husband as his beloved UK team lost in such a bummer of a way.  I am looking forward to tonight...hoping it's not a repeat of last year's final game.  Hope it's a great game - Butler all the way!!!

6.  Dreams deferred.  Who remembers the post I wrote this time last year??  While my writing might not have reflected the depth of my feelings, that was an.awful.time.  Many tears.  Let me open your eyes to a little more of what went on.  I, along with the rest of the staff had been waiting for a month to find out our new grade assignments, and it was extremely stressful.  We were all anxious and on edge.  I was desperately hoping to get kindergarten or first grade because I LOVE teaching that age...it was my dream.  And I was eager to be done with the incredibly difficult first year teaching experience and move on to enjoying the second year with some experience behind me.  Anyway, the Thursday before spring break last year, I found myself crying my eyes out in the principal's office when she had to let me go.  (Yes, I am NOT fun to pink slip :)  They did a re-organization of the school, went to straight grades, and with only 3 kindergarten classrooms, there were one too many teachers and not enough classrooms.  Good-bye first year me.  I was so sad and struggled with feelings of defeat, but I knew in my heart that God would provide.  I told all my sweet colleagues through tears that He would use this situation to be glorified and show His faithfulness.  And He definitely did.  What a moment it was last summer when I was offered the home school job I now have.  Such a blessing.  It has certainly stretched me as all teaching jobs do, but with a much different stress than the administrative responsibilities of public school.  I have thoroughly enjoyed working for this family.  But oh, how I often miss those kiddos.  I poured my heart and soul into my students.  I do have days when I long to welcome 22 sweet little lives into my classroom to influence and learn from each day, but I trust God's plan.  And what a joy this year on spring break be writing about my sweet baby love....a lifetime of the most important teaching and learning ahead of me.   My ultimate dream.  Needless to say, God has used all this to remind me that He is not a God of confusion.  He can be trusted and He is for us even when we feel confused or sad out of our minds.  Seek Him with all your heart, and courageously move where the Spirit leads!!

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."  Jeremiah 29:11-13

Adoration

First of all, sorry I don't have a great April Fools' post to share with you...I just don't think I have the guts. :)  I'll let Joy's Hope handle that one!  Ha ha.  Last year on this day I played hang man with my 3rd and 4th graders at the end of the day and told them I was pregnant.  They were shocked, then laughed, then played the joke on all my teacher friends in our hallway.  It was very funny.  Who would have thought this year it's not a joke!? 

So this week I saw on Facebook that my brother shared a link with a friend of a sermon by Timothy Keller.  Because I respect my brother so much as a man, a follower of Christ and a pastor, I of course thought I would listen to it as well.  Let's just say, it was life-changing for me.  Seriously.  So much so that Kevin and I listened to it together when he got home.  I love simple yet profound messages.  Keller is extremely intelligent and intellectual, yet is awesome at speaking practically.  We've heard him speak one other time at a church planting conference, and I know he has written several great books that my brother has read. (That I need to read!)  One is called "The Reason for God," and his latest is, "Generous Justice."

Anyway, the message really forces you to reflect on what you really adore in life, and where your heart's focus truly is.  He helps you see, by studying The Lord's Prayer, that to have a true perspective of God and experience all other fruit, we must first honor and adore Him.  At the end he talks about the pendulum of God as a holy God, and God as a loving God, in the realm of understanding the sacrifice of His son Jesus.  It has seriously influenced my perspective and prayer life.  I've even found that what we often think of as "praising" or "adoring" God is more along the lines of gratitude for what He's done for us rather than just reflecting on his holiness and who He is.

So I strongly encourage you to take some time this weekend and listen to this message -

Adoration: "Hallowed Be Thy Name"

Then, if you need a jumpstart on simply adoring Him, try this song...it's the one I've had on repeat all week and have been singing from my soul.  Happy Friday!!!

Life and Love Before Baby Love

Warning:  Long post.  In case you just don't have the time or the energy to read it, just scroll down to the bottom and listen to the incredible worship song by Tim Hughes.  Love it!!!  Not directly related to my post, but powerful for sure! :)

My mind has had fifty-millions things going at a million miles a minute for the last several weeks.  Hence the lack of posts.  I just don't know where to start!  So I'll stop making apologies and promises...I just have to accept that my presence will be a little unpredictable on here.

That said, I'm 18 weeks pregnant today!  Wow.  Hello belly!  I love, love, love getting and looking more and more pregnant.  If you ask me it's a great situation for a girl who has never quite been proportionate to begin with.  Ha ha.  Unless I'm extremely toned, (which hasn't been for a couple years!), I deal quite a bit with bloating.  So I've never had a difficult time feeling pregnant.  Just recently it's starting to look more like actual pregnancy!

With so much baby on the brain and in the middle of so many conversations, it's gotten me a little frazzled in recent days.  Yesterday I spent a few very therapeutic hours listening to music, praying, and crying.  It's so nice to just be able to say, "It's the pregnancy hormones." :)  I am an extremely intense person, both in my heart and mind, so it's quite easy for me to drive myself crazy and lose a little perspective now and then.  God is always faithful to bring me back whenever I return my focus to Him.  That said, yesterday He redirected my focus from my relationship with my baby to my relationship with my husband.

Kevin and I have been enjoying the sweetest time of marriage lately.  Especially since this past summer.  We have just grown and grown in our intimacy and friendship, as well as in extending grace towards one another, and there is no one on earth either of us would rather spend time with.  I believe this is a direct reflection of our intentional seeking after God for this very thing.  The beginning of marriage was a very difficult time for me, and Kevin rose to the occasion immediately as my strong, gentle support and protector.  Those precious days of feeling like I offered nothing and he offered everything created the most priceless foundation for our marriage.  My confusions and heartaches did not push him away...they drew him closer.  His actions towards me at that time amaze me to this day.  But I know with all of my heart they were the fruit of his seeking harder after God than he was seeking after me.  And I'm so grateful.

I say all of that because yesterday my mind was going a mile a minute thinking about baby stuff, how I was feeling, what the future holds, and all the things people have asked me about lately concerning the baby.  I suddenly became overwhelmed and convicted about my marriage.  While I know there is much to be done to prepare for a precious little, fragile life to come into our world, my heart knows that when the baby comes, we will be ready for the baby....as far as having the "things" we need.  My heart also knows that while we are over the moon with joy, these are the last several months that Kevin and I will have with just the two of us making up our family.  And that makes these months and moments we have together irreplaceable.  We delight in Sunday afternoons or any random time we get to spend hanging out, talking about life, napping, laughing, just being together.  I never want this precious friendship to fade.  What's crazy is, according to my calculations, the day we conceived is the day we moved out of the last place we actually called home.  What an adventure these months have been...and I'm convinced that we will treasure them and be strengthened by them for a lifetime.

 So in these months before experiencing the beautiful exhaustion of having my heart live outside my body and prayerfully enjoying this incredible baby I am just aching to hold, I am committed more than ever to spend this time focused on my husband and my marriage.  I know we will never want to go back, and I pray it will bring us closer, but I also never want to forget these days.  We know that in order to be good parents, our marriage must always come first.  God answered years of prayer when he brought Kevin and I together, and each year He solidifies more and more why it was so worth the wait.  I long to intentionally honor this undeserved gift.

Thus, in the days ahead I will be praying and seeking out ways to make this time special and sacred for us.  Whether it's by being creatively encouraging, doing some spontaneous planning, verbally affirming him, or loving him in practical ways through making dinner and doing dishes, it is my goal to be more intentional than ever.  I'm also on the look out for some good resources to read during this time.  Here are a few at the top my list right now - two that I've read large portions of, and two I've recently found.  I would love to hear your recommendations or suggestions, or any thoughts on this topic!!

"The Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian

"Sacred Influence" by Gary Thomas

"Great Parents, Lousy Lovers" by Gary Smalley and Ted Cunningham

"Your Marriage Can Survive A Newborn" by Glenn and Natalie Williams

Here's one of the amazing and powerful songs God used yesterday to draw me to him.  I just have to share it.  Enjoy this as part of your worship today!

Miscellany Monday - Welcome Spring!!!

1.  Hello friends.  Can I just say I am SOOO thankful it is spring?!  It has been one long, though blessed winter for me!!!  My cracked rib is finally starting to feel better, (we're going on 6 weeks here!), and the sunshine is soothing my soul.  I feel like I've waited and prayed over and over for days like these.  New life is on the horizon!  Kevin and I have taken a few walks at our favorite park after work and it has done wonders for my body, my mood, and my marriage.  So sweet to spend that time with him on these beautiful days.

2.  Speaking of exercise.  Since my rib is finally almost healed, I've been able to get back to trying out some prenatal workouts.  Within the first few days I found out I was pregnant I picked up Erin O'Brien's "Prenatal Fitness Fix", which I enjoyed a lot before I started getting nauseous, which was not long after.  A couple weeks ago I saw "Prenatal and Postnatal Yoga" by Element" on sale for $10, so I picked that one up too.  I had been researching yoga videos for awhile, because I've never done it but heard it's really good for you in the way of breathing and stretching.  I did it for the second time today and loved it.  I was very relaxed afterward, and felt like my body got a great stretch.  It is a little "yogi" (whatever that is), but during the meditative parts I just used the time to offer prayers and praise to God for my baby and my health.  There are a couple more dvds I've been looking at and thinking about, including one for pilates.  Any thoughts out there on what you have used or liked?

3.  Pressure.  I very easily put too much pressure on myself at any given time.  With the growing baby in my belly it has lately been all about how to honor God by caring for him or her right now, while spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically preparing myself for being a mom.  (Whew! Much more about this to come!!)  Due to the nauseousness, I've struggled to feel like I am eating healthfully enough during this time.  We end up going to the grocery and I buy only the things I think I should eat and that fit in the budget.  But then I don't want anything to do with them.  That is, until yesterday.  I realized I was making myself crazy with all this thinking...so instead I wondered up and down every aisle searching for anything that might sound somewhat good (which is not a lot).  The most random item was probably Velveeta shells and cheese - nothing too exciting.  But I've definitely had a much better eating day with my new found freedom! :)

4.  Baby Names.  Kevin and I had the most hilarious time on Saturday going through names in the baby book.  We haven't done this for a long time, so it was fun.  I know I said we have some strong front runners, but as of now, we're still discussing all kinds of options.  Definitely the funniest moment was an hour into the conversation (we were driving), when we got slap happy and started suggesting any and every name we saw as we drove by it.  Here's where I would insert what we would consider funny...but I'm not about to risk accidentally hurting anyone's feelings!!

5.  Bible study.  The Lord has certainly been working on my heart lately.  I love having another little life to consider while I'm reflecting on my walk with God.  Though this does up the responsiblity factor quickly!  Kevin and I both have had a deep desire lately to spend our times in "bible studies" or small groups learning how to handle the word of God and study scripture.  Many studies are topical which can be awesome, but there is no replacement for digging deep into the bible and learning what the Holy Spirit has for you there.  My group recently finished the study, "God Seeker," which is an amazing study that leads you into intimacy with God in your daily "tent of meeting." It's based on Moses in Exodus, and his regular meetings face to face with the Lord.  Wow.  What a privilege.  Yet the bible says that he was "very humble, more than any man who was on the face of the earth."  (Numbers 12:3)  I strongly suggest this study for any and all believers, new to faith or long time Christians.  I know the author and her family personally, and they are truly an example of what it looks like to live by the spirit.  Be encouraged by her blog here.  Next my group is doing Kay Arthur's "That I May Know Him: Philippians and Colossians."   Kay Arthur's whole ministry is about learning how to study the word of God...and she teaches it in an amazing way.  It's simple in appearance, but solid in substance. I'm excited to see what will come and all that we will learn during this one!

That's all for this Monday!  I look forward to being in much more frequent communication with all of you!  I feel like I'm getting a tiny bit of rhythm and routine back!





Song for the Sabbath

16 Weeks!?!?

Via

When I see images like this I totally feel like breaking out into worship - isn't God AMAZING?!

My baby is growing up so fast!!!  :)  And I'm so thankful to God for every day He breathes life into him or her.  I am turning a serious energy corner this week - yay!  Let me just be honest with you before we get to the updated baby details.  I have had a hard time finding the motivation to blog for a few reasons.  One, my mind has been OVERWHELMED lately with so much...baby stuff, nauseousness stuff, caring for a pregnant body, work stuff, and most of all, thoughts of God and all that He is teaching me right now.  So I haven't really known where to start.  Secondly, I have had to go through a bit of a struggle of what to share and what not to share on here.  There are times when I think I could write some sort of baby post every day...what body pillow to get, what prenatal snacks and vitamins I like, all my nursery inspirations and project plans...but I am constantly aware of those who are hurting and struggling with pregnancy, loss, or a complete lack of desire to read all things 'baby' on here.  And since I am often a honest-to-the-core kind of gal, it's paralyzed me a bit.

HOWEVER....

Last night I told Kevin that I know better than that.  God knows my heart and my intentions, and I sincerely do not ever want to bring pain to someone else.  And I certainly don't want to miss honoring this beautiful and amazing blessing growing inside of me.  I think I can especially honor the dreams of others by sincerely celebrating mine, with humble gratitude.  And to pray.  Oh sweet friends how I pray for you...and so many I know personally and read about on here.  Now more than ever. 

I have had to learn over and over again that it is not my goal in life to please others, but to glorify God alone.  It seems as though this situation has tempted me to focus on pleasing others once again.  So I am going to try to start going back to wearing my heart on my sleeve, praying for grace and guidance all the way.  I want this blog to be a reflection of who I am and what God is doing and has done in Kevin and I's lives.

That said, on to the baby's latest!!!

I am 16 weeks - crazy! - but so exciting.  We heard the heartbeat for the 3rd time yesterday, which is always amazing.  Kevin might have used his iphone and spy skills to secretly record it so we could listen over and over. :)  I definitely have a sweet baby bump, and I love rubbing my belly.  (Though my student thinks I've lost my mind.)  I LOVE being pregnant - no sucking in my tummy or worrying about my curves, and the responsibility of being so intentional about caring for my little one.  I truly feel like a mommy.  It is priceless.  We love praying for the baby together, and the other night we sang to him or her.  I already have my bedtime lullaby "playlist"...made of songs my mom used to sing to me, a couple favorite hymns, and songs I used to sing to the sweet little one I babysat/nannied for 8 years, every time I tucked her in.  (Who is turning 10 today - Happy birthday Ingrid!!!)

Pregnancy Highlights:

How Far Along: 16 Weeks!

Size of baby: An avocado (quite amazing considering he/she started as a poppyseed!!!)

Total Weight Gain/Loss: Before nauseousness and my first doctor's appt. I gained 5 lbs - yikes!  Then with the flu I lost 3.  I've gained one back.  So according to the doctor I've gained 1 lb so far. Which she said is fine because she assures us over and over that the baby is getting just what she/he needs.

Maternity Clothes: Not yet.  I tried on maternity jeans this weekend.  My backside said NO THANK YOU!  I do live in yoga or workout pants which I love.

Gender: We're going to be SURPRISED!

Baby's Name:  We are in serious prayer about this huge responsibility. :)  Shockingly, though I'm incredibly indecisive, I have a great peace about both a boy name and a girl name that we love and have prayed about so far.  We'll see how they hold up!  Of course, this will also not be shared until the baby comes. (We love surprises!)

Movement: Can't wait to feel the first "flutter" - hopefully anytime!

Sleep: I'm not sleeping well this week.  I'm trying to get used to sleeping on my side and it reallys hurts my hips.  (My doctor assured me it's not because they stick out. :)  I'm still working on figuring out the perfect body pillow thing.  I also am starting to get too hungry at night because I don't feel like eating much for dinner.

What I miss: Artificial sweetner.  :)

Cravings: Food is still very literally leaving a bad taste in my mouth.  Nothing sounds good or looks good, and I don't have a crazy appetite.  But I thoroughly enjoyed a house salad at Outback the other day. And I love every and all FRUIT!

Symptoms:  Waning nauseousness - (though I totally lost my cookies after a Qdoba lunch last week!)  I rarely make it through a meal without starting to feel sick by the end. (Unless it's a bowl of cereal!)  Also fatique, growing belly, hormone breakouts, and a very real lack of patience with others...weird but true - this one has totally surprised me but has been very apparent in my first trimester.  Oh, and I'm quite emotional and dramatic.  Pregnancy related...not sure about that! ;)

Best Moment this week: Hearing the heartbeat again!  Singing to the baby, Kevin being so incredibly sweet and complimentary to me, and hearing him talk to my belly...well, actually the baby. :)

I'm looking forward to... eventually having our own permanent place...which we are totally trusting and believing in God's timing for.  We will be so grateful when it is time, and we are enjoying the cozy blessings of our current dwellings. (The log cabin - that is a post in and of itself! :)  I am so excited about creating a sweet nursery.

 Happy Wednesday to you!!

Spring is Coming

I know I'm in good company when I say I am SO ready for Spring to arrive.  Now that it's March, I can feel it joyfully coming right around the corner.  I refuse to share any more of my woes of winter, as I'm tired of hearing them myself!  Instead I am choosing to delight in the thoughts of blooming flowers, warm sunshine, and walks in flip flops.  I'm ready for the world to be green again!  I do, however, so appreciate all that can be learned through the changing of the seasons.  There is such purpose and intention in what the earth goes through.  And it's such a great metaphor for life.  I have felt several times in my life that I was waiting for spring to come, but surrendering to what God needed to do in me through the quiet rest of winter.  Here are some spring things for you to enjoy:

One of my favorite sermons about Spring from Crossroads in Cincinnati, part of a series on the seasons:

Spring (Great sermon - not your average preacher - just so you're prepared. :)

I love fresh flowers!!!  And I love the abundance of them in Spring!  I ran all over Louisville a couple days before my wedding finding gerberas like these for my bouquet!

The Farmer's Market is coming - yay!!!

via

I'm definitely looking forward to my belly and my maternity wardrobe growing this Spring!

source



I love this beautiful and powerful song, Spring is Coming, which is more of a prayer from my favorite, Steven Curtis Chapman:

Random Thought Thursday

Well friends, I know I went M.I.A again. Sorry about that! I will say that I AM TIRED. It's really kind of funny, because I had no idea fatigue could last this long, though WELL WORTH It!! It makes me feel like little sweet thing is growing like crazy! Last week the baby was apparently the size of a peach, then this week my phone said a lemon. Kevin and I both agreed we are either ignorant about produce, or our baby isn't exactly getting bigger, just morphing into different fruits!! Ha. Baby Center says he/she is the size of a large shrimp. Crazy! So awesome. My mom sent me a book I have been looking at for a long time called, "Praying Through Your Pregnancy" by Jennifer Polimino. I am loving it and really enjoy having guided prayers for the development of my little one. I feel like I am in constant prayer, constantly claiming Jesus over this baby. Talk about an experience that will grow you up quick and bring you to your knees. I am thankful.



Other fun facts about this past week:

* I had the unique opportunity of traveling to Naples, FL last week to teach my student. Wow. It was so incredibly and overwhelmingly beautiful. I am so thankful that God so graciously poured out quite the pregnancy hug! After being sick in this cold, wet weather, it was refreshing and awesome to sit on the beach, read my Bible, and pray. So powerful for me right now. There is so much God is teaching me, and I am just aching to share it with you all!

* This is the 8th week Kevin and I have spent living with the couple from church, and we couldn't have asked for a better experience. They have been so gracious and such an unbelievable blessing to us during this time. While we are growing anxious to get into our own place, we trust that God's timing will be perfect. (Preferably before the baby. ha ha.) We are excited about a new opportunity that has presented itself, and we'll be temporarily relocating to the cutest log cabin soon. I can't wait to show you a pic. This is real life Little House on the Prairie people! Definitely time to get that sewing machine out of storage!

* Yesterday I was 13 weeks!!! How exciting! I know I haven't been blogging, but I've been watching that little ticker thing up in the corner add up the days! Sometimes I am just in shock and say out loud, "I'm having a baby!!" Last week when Kevin and I were apart, (boo!), we both had moments of surreal realization. We are so very thrilled dreaming about life with a new addition. We are also trying to be very intentional about loving the time we have alone together. Other baby fun facts:

- I haven't gotten really sick since that flu catastrophe.

- I'm still healing from a cracked rib. Ouch. Sneezing and coughing are huge pain causers.

- My nauseousness sometimes feels like it's lessening (especially when I

was in sunny Florida!), but it still lingers and I'm not exactly back to being a food fan yet.

-That said, I do get sudden spontaneous cravings - like pears. I could eat two at a time.

Fruit is really the only thing that ever sounds good.

Before the flu it was salad with poppyseed dressing, swiss cheese, apples, and cranberries.

Also ores and milk products.

It is a struggle to eat any kind of chicken or meat. Ugh.

-I do have a little belly sticking out. (Not that I didn't before the pregnancy! :)

I promise I am getting my act together and will start

posting prego pics soon. But I'll most likely be in yoga pants. :)

-We are not planning to find out what we

are having! We are looking forward to experiencing the joy of surprise.

Also, we have name ideas that we've had for a long time, but are praying

a lot about it and unfortunately won't reveal until there's a little face to go with it!

That's about it for now. Sorry again for a picture-less post! Seriously thank you again for your kind and sweet words of encouragement - you all have blessed my heart so much already in this process!!

A Baby LOVE Post

Happy Valentine's Day!

Wow, wow, wow!!!  First of all, you all are so ridiculously amazing with your encouragement - thank you for rejoicing with us over this gift!  Also, thank you and welcome to those of you who are new to the blog!  Cait is the absolute sweetest for celebrating with us and posting about the baby.  It will be quite an amazing journey, I have no doubt.  This week or next I'll update you with pictures and stories of how I told Kevin and how we told our families. The following is the only "unpublished post" that I wrote one day, (Jan. 18th), when I was going crazy with keeping it in - now you know what happened to me! :)

Oh bloggy friends...I am seriously holding out on you!!!  And it is getting increasingly difficult!  I just can't wait until we tell you and the whole world that I am carrying our first baby!!!!  Joy, joy, joy!  Tomorrow I will be 8 weeks, and today we had our first doctor's appointment.  We were giddy anxious, and just so thrilled to be there.  We got to hear little Baby Love's heartbeat, and see the little peanut on the sonogram.  So crazy.  I am all smiles, and constantly pouring out prayers for this little one that God is knitting together.

How delighted I am to share this journey with you, just as I have shared my heart and the other happenings of my life for the last year.  God has already taught me just so much throught this experience, and I am in constant awe of what he is doing right here inside of me.  I dream of what's to come...a growing belly, (though mine's thickening by the second), feeling the baby kick, singing him or her sweet songs, loving Kevin more and more as I experience him loving this baby, and growing closer to God through a process I'm learning requires complete and utter trust.

This has a lot to do with why I had my little bloggy absence...because what do I say to you all who I usually pour my heart out to?!  I am nothing if not painfully honest, so keeping this between Kevin and I has been fun, but quite challenging at times.  Some other details:  I have been consistently nauseous since about week 5 or 6, except for a few hours at night.  I am exhausted!!  Always tired, and my preferred activity is laying down.  But hey, I did do water aerobics tonight!  :)  I don't crave anything yet...probably because I do not like thinking or talking about food.  Even so, I have worked hard to eat really healthfully - so much more than before I was pregnant.  Through it all I'm loving every second of all this discomfort, because I'm just so thankful for what it confirms to be true inside me. 

My due date was confirmed today as August 31, if there are no dramatic changes between now and then.  I have cried the most genuine tears of my life when I have shared this precious news with people.  And today, when I saw that baby - a real-life dream come true, the tears came fast once again.  My sweetest moments with God seem to be in the car when a song that goes straight to my heart comes on and I cry authentic tears of worship for this gift.  I am humbled, I am overwhelmed, I am so grateful.  My heart is exploding!

I also have to tell you this:  At the same time I have been rejoicing, I have never in my life prayed more earnestly or felt more deeply for those I know (and don't know) who have lost a little one or struggled to conceive.  This experience has shaken me and drawn out some serious prayers for friends, family members, and so many sweet, wonderful bloggers out there who are struggling to read this post without pain.  So please know that while I'll share the joy in my heart that I give God the glory for, I also deeply desire to be sensitive and loving to those who have wanted nothing more. 

Kevin and I found out we were pregnant the Sunday before Christmas, so it was more than sweet to hear so many amazing and powerful songs celebrating the birth of the most holy, powerful baby ever....and one particular song literally brought me to my knees with tears running down my face, so grateful for the baby God sent that changed absolutely everything for every single one of us; it is through him that Kevin and I are currently getting to experience a baby that is already changing everything for us. 

Baby Mine

I dream of singing this song to my own baby....

This baby...

is mine.

We are praising the Lord for our sweet Baby Love, due August 31, 2011!!!

"Not to us, O Lord, not to us but to your name be the glory,

because of your love and faithfulness."

Psalm 115:1

My Current Prayer

Making Fun of the Flu

 

Notice I didn't say "having fun with the flu."  This post could also appropriately be titled, "Making the Most of a Miserable Situation."  Trying to keep it positive.  Which is why I'm writing this post...to keep from going crazy out of my mind.  I do think I'm healing, which I'm so thankful for after the last few looong days.  I at least have the energy to feel like writing.  My congestion is clearing up, my aches are much less, I don't have a fever, and my violent coughing episodes are decreasing.  And I am PRAISING THE LORD I did not get Kevin's strep.  But let's back up and talk about that last symptom....

I think I CRACKED MY RIB from coughing!!!  Not. Fun. At. All.  It hurts when I breathe, move, cough, laugh, or get sick.  If you've ever had a rib injury, you know it's not a good one to have - no relief. 
How do I know I probably did this?  Because two and a half years ago I had bronchitis for the first time and did it then...6 weeks before my wedding!!!  Wow.  I have an amazing track record...and apparently don't know my own strength!  I think God appreciates my sense of humor (because, well, He gave it to me!), and just wants to make sure I have plenty of material. :)

So I guess this whole post is inspired by the other night when I couldn't sleep. I walked around aimlessly trying to pray and will my symptoms away.  (Kevin has been amazingly compassionate about getting up with me, by the way!!)  For some reason the only thing that made me feel better was thinking about and making jokes out of my horrific experience at Immediate Care when we found out I had the flu.  It was so bizarre and tramatic that it's funny.

It was about 8:30 Thursday night and they close at 9, so not many people were there.  I was sweating my guts out in the waiting room because I had taken 2 Tylenol, which were starting to break my fever.  Finally, this 20-something, girl-next-door looking, no-heart nonsense nurse called us back.  She took my temperature with the weirdest instrument ever and Kevin cracked a joke about it.  No smile.  Then she walked us back to the room and asked if I wanted a flu test.  THEN, moments I will never forget scarred me for life!  She came back in with two GIGANTIC q-tips, came straight at me, and jammed one up my nose as hard as she could...into places I didn't even know existed up there!  No warning, no kind words, NO gentleness!!!  It. Was. AWFUL!!!!  I jerked my head back and she shook her head and said, "I have to get it up there."  Like she was saying, "Sorry about your luck sicko, but this is your punishment for not getting a flu shot!"  (She didn't really say that.) 

Then she came straight at me with the other one - same sort of nightmare.  I pulled my head back quickly and Kevin said, "Do you think you could be more gentle?"  (He's not a big fan at this point.)  She shrugged her shoulders and said, "Sure."  (No, actually, I don't think she can.)  When she left I burst into tears.  It was just awful.  I was sick out of my head, overwhelmed, and felt like a 12 year old being bullied by the mean girl!  I have thought many times since then all the wonderful things I maybe should have said to her, or maybe should compose in a "friendly" note.   Which I will not be sharing here, because it's not quite Christ-like.  (Use your humor for good, Page.)

(Now this is funny...I see a Christmas present in her future!  ha ha.)

I'd like to say that was the end of it, but then the eccentric doctor came in.  In the midst of diagnosing me and making me wear a mask so as not to contaminate anyone else, he told us all about evolution, the strong surviving, and something having to do with penicillin and war (it was WEIRD).  Then SHE came back in with a sharply pronged instrument to check for strep...you can imagine - she crammed that thing down my throat and I thought I would lose my mind. 

Thankfully, I didn't...well, you can be the judge of that.  As we walked out I made some sort of joke about how the experience had been enlightening, entertaining, and painful.  For all to hear of course.  Come to think of it, I'm going to wish I had a picture of that ridiculous night some day.  For now, please continue to enjoy my Adventures in Fluville for me.  Because I am praying for the first ticket out of here. 

Come back tomorrow or Wednesday.  There's so much more to this story.  And trust me...you're going to LOVE it!!!

The Flu - Boo!

Well, this week has been tumultuous to say the least.  Kevin found out he had strep on Monday, and we just found out yesterday that I currently have a bad case of the flu.  Ugh.  It has definitely been pretty miserable.  It has been an exhausting week, but one covered in constant prayer.  It's amazing how God draws us so near to Him especially when we are desperate for his healing. 

A couple days ago, while I was up with a violent cough and congestion all night, I was crying out to Jesus and imagining the woman who reached out to touch him, believing he could heal her.  I was struck by the power that comes when we truly believe in an all-powerful God, and how much trust and surrender that requires.  Believing that he can and will heal, even when we feel out of control.  It requires complete surrender and awareness that we are weak, but HE is strong.  So I encourage you to take this often difficult journey of trust in the power of our almighty God with me, whatever your current affliction or weariness might be.  (And we would be so grateful for your prayers for our family!)

And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, because she thought, “If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.” Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.
At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who touched my clothes?”


“You see the people crowding against you,” his disciples answered, “and yet you can ask, ‘Who touched me?’ ”


But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.” Mark 5:25-34