A Baby LOVE Post

Happy Valentine's Day!

Wow, wow, wow!!!  First of all, you all are so ridiculously amazing with your encouragement - thank you for rejoicing with us over this gift!  Also, thank you and welcome to those of you who are new to the blog!  Cait is the absolute sweetest for celebrating with us and posting about the baby.  It will be quite an amazing journey, I have no doubt.  This week or next I'll update you with pictures and stories of how I told Kevin and how we told our families. The following is the only "unpublished post" that I wrote one day, (Jan. 18th), when I was going crazy with keeping it in - now you know what happened to me! :)

Oh bloggy friends...I am seriously holding out on you!!!  And it is getting increasingly difficult!  I just can't wait until we tell you and the whole world that I am carrying our first baby!!!!  Joy, joy, joy!  Tomorrow I will be 8 weeks, and today we had our first doctor's appointment.  We were giddy anxious, and just so thrilled to be there.  We got to hear little Baby Love's heartbeat, and see the little peanut on the sonogram.  So crazy.  I am all smiles, and constantly pouring out prayers for this little one that God is knitting together.

How delighted I am to share this journey with you, just as I have shared my heart and the other happenings of my life for the last year.  God has already taught me just so much throught this experience, and I am in constant awe of what he is doing right here inside of me.  I dream of what's to come...a growing belly, (though mine's thickening by the second), feeling the baby kick, singing him or her sweet songs, loving Kevin more and more as I experience him loving this baby, and growing closer to God through a process I'm learning requires complete and utter trust.

This has a lot to do with why I had my little bloggy absence...because what do I say to you all who I usually pour my heart out to?!  I am nothing if not painfully honest, so keeping this between Kevin and I has been fun, but quite challenging at times.  Some other details:  I have been consistently nauseous since about week 5 or 6, except for a few hours at night.  I am exhausted!!  Always tired, and my preferred activity is laying down.  But hey, I did do water aerobics tonight!  :)  I don't crave anything yet...probably because I do not like thinking or talking about food.  Even so, I have worked hard to eat really healthfully - so much more than before I was pregnant.  Through it all I'm loving every second of all this discomfort, because I'm just so thankful for what it confirms to be true inside me. 

My due date was confirmed today as August 31, if there are no dramatic changes between now and then.  I have cried the most genuine tears of my life when I have shared this precious news with people.  And today, when I saw that baby - a real-life dream come true, the tears came fast once again.  My sweetest moments with God seem to be in the car when a song that goes straight to my heart comes on and I cry authentic tears of worship for this gift.  I am humbled, I am overwhelmed, I am so grateful.  My heart is exploding!

I also have to tell you this:  At the same time I have been rejoicing, I have never in my life prayed more earnestly or felt more deeply for those I know (and don't know) who have lost a little one or struggled to conceive.  This experience has shaken me and drawn out some serious prayers for friends, family members, and so many sweet, wonderful bloggers out there who are struggling to read this post without pain.  So please know that while I'll share the joy in my heart that I give God the glory for, I also deeply desire to be sensitive and loving to those who have wanted nothing more. 

Kevin and I found out we were pregnant the Sunday before Christmas, so it was more than sweet to hear so many amazing and powerful songs celebrating the birth of the most holy, powerful baby ever....and one particular song literally brought me to my knees with tears running down my face, so grateful for the baby God sent that changed absolutely everything for every single one of us; it is through him that Kevin and I are currently getting to experience a baby that is already changing everything for us.