A Heart Set Free
My husband and I are on a budget. A super budget. We have big dreams to experience financial freedom, so we are going on a hard core spending freeze. That said, meals often have to get creative. Fortunately, Kevin and I love a good breakfast for dinner, and my husband makes great eggs. He was so excited about his fluffy, beautiful "restaurant" looking eggs as he called them, that I had to take a picture. One photo is of our yummy dinner. The other is of the table of a couple working hard on a budget. Pretty eggs, not such a pretty table.
I am so thankful to be married to such a godly husband, and an awesome partner for life and ministry. I prayed and prayed for years for this man. Last night someone asked us, "How's married life?" And without skipping a beat I said, "It's great!" Later Kevin told me how much he liked that I said that. I realized that every time someone has asked us that question over the last year I have responded with an immediate, "It's definitely hard. But it's good." Which, for obvious reasons might have been a little disheartening for the man who loves me so very much and so very well. I am sometimes honest to a fault, but when I said it was hard, I never really meant it was bad. I believe great things often go through really hard times. And when you are learning to work as a team with someone you have just joined every part of your life with, inevitable challenges are bound to be present. But Kevin and I are in such a sweet place with the way God is truly helping us come together as one, serving Him and loving others as the team we came together to be.
So much of this latest joy we have experienced in our marriage undoubtedly has come from the way I have felt the Lord renew my spirit and restore my joy. Last year might have been a tough transition for me, but because of that it certainly had to be difficult for my sweet husband. He is a faithful man who has loved me through some ugly days. And it has created a foundation for us to build on that I will be eternally grateful for.
Psalm 119:32 says, "I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free." I am so very thankful that God loves me and has set my weary heart free. While I may bring on the weariness by carrying burdens I was never meant to bear, He has been faithful to stand by me and hear me when I call. Almost every morning this week I have choked up while listening to music on the way to work, and my heart has been brought to its knees in gratitude for the way God loves, listens, and literally never lets go. I have also been brokenhearted for those who have and are experiencing some dark and difficult days of grief right now. I pray that they too feel God wrapping them up, holding them close, and promising to never let go.
This morning I was reminded of the song, "I Will Lift My Eyes," by Bebo Norman. Several years ago, this song was my prayer through some incredibly difficult to understand days. These are some of my favorite lines:
God, my God, I cry out
Your beloved needs You now
God, be near calm my fear and take my doubt
Your kindness is what pulls me up
Your love is all that draws me in
I will lift my eyes to the Maker
of the mountains I can't climb
I will lift my eyes to the Calmer
of the oceans raging wild
I will lift my eyes to the Healer
of the hurt I hold inside
I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to You
"Thank you God that we can lift our eyes to the Maker, the Calmer, and the Healer. Thank you for setting my heart free."