10 and 11 months!

  (I wrote this a long time ago, but just added the pictures so I'm just now posting, but back dating!)
 

Oh my, how many times I have thought to sit and write the memories of these months down...now I'm racing to finish before our baby girl takes those first steps!  She's oh so close.  I rocked Selah and sang to her before putting her to bed tonight, which was such a treat, as Daddy often does it. I sang our whole list of songs, including "Baby Mine," and thought of how true those words will always be no matter how big my sweet girl gets.

I remember when Selah turned 10 months and I thought - wow, she has changed so much this past month!  Then 11 months came and I look back and think she just grew and grew more into quite the little girl.  This past month often feels like a blur.  Just this morning at breakfast I looked at her as she so carefully put one cheerio at a time in her mouth and chewed it up...and thought about how much she is starting to look like a 1 yr. old.  So incredible.  Almost immediately after she turned 9 months I found her one day in her crib sitting up and clapping!  It was the neatest thing for me to see, as it was the first time she got into a sitting position on her own and clapped by herself.  I loved it.  What a blessing it is to watch your child grow and discover.  So amazing.  Shortly after that I found her pulling herself up to standing in her crib.  I am convinced that babies learn everything in their cribs. ;)  Plenty of alone time to practice!  Now it's hard for me to remember when she would play in there after naps without being able to sit up or pull herself up to stand and holler for us to get her out!  Right around this time she also seemed to go quickly from 2 to 4 to 6 teeth!  She's held steady with 6 for awhile now.  Those days seem like forever ago as we now almost have a walker!

Selah has started doing several new things in the last two months....like following me around and being able to find me by my voice.  She loves it when I get on my hands and knees and crawl towards her...she hurries right up to me, giggling all the way.  She is super ticklish, just like her daddy.  She does make you work for a laugh though, but it's totally worth it.  She is also our little pointer.  I'm trying to figure out if this is something I do a lot when I'm being silly, but it's so funny how she points at you and smiles when she's happy to see you or is just being cute.  She loves to sort clothes and cloth diapers, moving them from one side of her to another, seeming so serious and intent about it.  It's hilarious.  She's a big fan of these little plastic balls we have, and just recently likes to crawl around with something in at least one hand, often two.  Wooden puzzles are a favorite of hers as well, and even though we only have two right now, she's fascinated with the pieces and wants to play with these nearly every day. She also remains such a fan of books.  Her attention span has grown enough that she'll sit and be interested while you read a short book...as long as it's somewhat entertaining.  Her main focus now is turning those board book pages...she can't get enough of that!  She also enjoys her shape sorter toys, and loves turning those little plastic shapes in her hands.  And she's really interested in any toys that make noise.  Like the adorable little tea set her Nana got for her.  I personally love how well-mannered the little British teapot is as she says, "More please!" and "Why thank you!"  So cute.

Something else sweet Selah has learned...how to throw a bit of a fit.  It's pretty amazing at first, I have to say.  Kevin and I always cheer each other on to remain calm and firm.  I'm not going to deny that I've had a few, "I'm the mom, I'm the mom" silent self reminders run through my head when I need some encouragement.  And if you act like it doesn't phase you it only lasts a few seconds for now.  Today in the bookstore was one of those times I decided teaching her that she doesn't always get what she wants was more important than caring about what anyone thought around me!  Kevin and I were just mentioning today about how we need to reread the Duggers' "Twenty Kids and Counting" book - one of our favorites.  Kevin Lemen's "First Time Mom" is another one we've found helpful. 

She's also a little danger to herself on our photo shoots, especially if they're on a chair.  At 10 months it was the first time I had to have Kevin assist me so she didn't crawl right off onto her head!  We definitely spent a lot of time swimming in the month of June, and I've enjoyed being able to get exercise while kicking up and down the pool and pushing her around in her little float.  Though this past month I started sitting her on the side, counting to 3, and having her "jump" to me.  Now she practically spins herself around like she wants to swim to the side and I have to hold on tight.  She wants to do this over and over, or stand on the steps and play with toys.  Miss Independent.

I love how Selah acts shy and puts her head down while smiling if someone smiles at her in public.  And she still loves the nursery at church.  She seems to be a pretty flexible and social gal so far, which I'm thankful for considering we spend a lot of time at home.  She is making all kinds of sounds now, "talking" to her stuffed animals, and "reading" her books, and sometimes looking at us and having so much to say.  Though the only discernible words still remain "mama" and "dada" though they're not intentional enough that she's calling it out from her crib just yet.  Oh, and between 9 and 10 months she started "dancing" to music, which is the best thing ever.  We crank up our worship playlists on the ipod and she starts smiling and bouncing....so cute.  Selah also remains a fan of bathtime, which is also storytime.  Daddy often enjoys sharing this time with her, especially if it's been a long day for me.  Between 9 and 10 months we stopped using the newborn insert, which I delayed as long as possible, though she was hanging off the end.  Now she sits in the bottom of it, playing happily with her toys and getting frustrated when we refuse her desire to stand up in there.  That's something new that we're trying to squelch pretty quickly. :)

Selah also quickly increased her enjoyment of lots of foods after that 9 month blog post.  She still prefers baby food which I'm trying to slowly transition out of, (as I can't say I love making it - though it's totally cost effective!), and she loves puffs, cheerios, and graham crackers.  She seems to be a fan of all veggies and fruits except for peas, she likes rice and oatmeal cereal, and really wishes I would let her eat an apple whole.  The girl also loves herself some shredded cheese.  We are still somewhat messy eaters at times, and Selah still faithfully shares with her puppy dog Chai.

In the past couple months Selah also transitioned from the army crawl to the regular crawl, only reverting to the army style if she wanted to move super quickly.  Though now she is speedy on her hands and knees.  Just yesterday and today she stood on her own for the first time, almost not even realizing it.  Of course then we get so excited and she gets really proud of herself, then laughs when she falls down.  Two Sundays ago after church was the first time she felt big enough and heavy enough that I thought I should be able to put her down and she should walk.  It was such a crazy feeling.  I haven't had it since, but I must have been extra tired and had my hands full that morning!  Though I know only too soon that will actually be true!  In the past couple weeks she's begun to hold on and walk along things.  I'm not really one who looks up or reads about milestones and when developmental things are supposed to happen, and I'm not much of a pusher, just because I'm so afraid of rushing or missing these sweet precious moments and stages they grow out of so quickly.  I can't even bring myself to read those emails Baby Center and What to Expect send me.  But each milestone truly fascinates me and it's why I am trying to keep track of how she is growing.

The last two months also brought along the celebration of her first Father's Day, her cousin Kaydance's birthday, her Uncle Chad's birthday, her first 4th of July, and the birth of her newest little cousin, Harper!  We also took our first family vacation, which included Selah's first plane rides (thanks to earning free vouchers from getting bumped on our babymoon last year!), and an opportunity to spend a week with friends in Florida!  We were so thankful to stay with our friends who recently moved to Fleming Island, FL and have a 3 yr. old and 1 yr. old, both little girls.  Needless to say, Selah was so fascinated with them.  It was adorable to see her have little "friends" for the week.  She definitely came home more intentional about playtime than ever!  Selah didn't love the sand on the beach, and really only liked the ocean if we were standing and holding her tight.  It did help on the days that other little ones were playing near her.  She did like when mommy swam with a dolphin though!  Oh my, now that is a blog post I need to make myself write!  Kevin surprised me and it was such a fun and unique experience that I've always wanted to have.  We are so thankful to our friends Jason and Stacy for their hospitality and graciously hosting us for the week.  It is no small task to welcome a family with a little one into your home for that amount of time!  We are truly grateful for the opportunity to take a vacation this year as a family.

I have peacefully surrendered in my heart that she's almost 1.  What a year it has been.  I can still feel and remember every emotion from those first moments holding her in the hospital, that tiny squishy body laying on my chest.  Kevin and I couldn't get enough of her, breaking out into random tears as we were overwhelmed with gratitude and love.  I will never ever forget one afternoon when Kevin had gone to get something to eat and I was alone with her...and I wept while thinking of my whole 30 years of life and how hard I had prayed for that one moment.  More than I can even comprehend now.  We still can't get enough of her, and love to watch her sleep, and love to make her smile.  We are humbled in realizing how desperately we need God to teach us how to raise her to love, follow, and serve Him.  That is our hearts' desire.

Now I feel fully initiated into motherhood.  Fully absorbed in praying over my family, asking God to lead me as I desire to lead Selah and our future children well, reflecting over moments of the day, hoping I'm enjoying her enough, wondering if I'm building a good foundation, and soaking in that lingering baby goodness whenever I get the chance.  I knew the day would come, and it definitely has, as more often than not when she's finished nursing, she wiggles her little body off my lap.  I remember months ago trying to enjoy my still little one content just to remain on my lap.  I was so determined to remember the last time Selah fell asleep after nursing but I can honestly say it happened so long ago that I'm not even sure.  But growth is good...and a gift.  When people tell you it only gets better they don't mean to say right now is not the most amazing wonderful time...just that the next stage will be the most amazing wonderful time in a different way too.  Thank you Lord for the 11 amazing months we've been blessed to share with this special little girl you created.  We give you the glory for her life and we are honored to be her parents.

Not Our Home

"..In all these things we are more than conquerers through him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of
God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Romans 8:38-39



The past few weeks have been a painful reminder that this world is not our home.  I have wanted and needed to write this post for the past week, but it's been difficult to know how to write down everything God has laid on my heart.  So today I'm pouring it out.  All of it.  Two weeks ago tomorrow, Matt D., a dear brother in Christ who led worship at our church, suddenly and tragically passed away from a post surgery pulmonary embolism after a scary car accident that had occurred 4 days prior.  He had been expected to make a full recovery, and we were all praising the Lord for sparing his life.  Kevin worked on staff with him at the multisite campus of our church for the past 3 years.  He and his wife of 13 years have an 11 yr old, 5 yr old, and 2 yr. old.  He was only 36.

I, like many others in our church family, will never forget that terrible moment Saturday morning, hearing that he went to be with Jesus.  That, and the hours that followed, were some of the most painfully shocking moments of my life.  I witnessed my husband on his knees and crying out to God, asking why.  Everyone was, and still is to some degree, in shock over this loss.  We were instantly reminded that this world is not our home; this is not at all how it's meant to be.

Matt loved Jesus with all his heart and his impact was incredible, as evidenced by the endless stories about him that have been shared.  Anytime we saw Matt at church whether in the hallway, the sanctuary, or the parking lot he always seemed happy to see us.  He made everyone feel like that.  And he was so excited for us when we had Selah.  I always thought it was so sweet when we saw him and he wanted to get a glimpse of her, especially when she was new.  Anytime we had staff get togethers he was always making others laugh and filled with laughter himself.  He was so full of joy and kindness.  He had an amazing musical gift, and was a wonderful and humble worship leader.

We have shed countless tears trying to grasp life here without him present.  Hearing and reading the stories of so many lives he has touched has been amazing.  I know we've all been humbled by how passionately he was living out his faith and reaching others.  About 2,000 people, from all over the country were at his funeral, which was an incredibly tough, but beautiful celebration of his life.  So many tears, but the Holy Spirit was so present and powerful.  One person said they have never experienced such authentic worship as they did that day.  I would have to agree.  We even baptized someone after it was over.  It seems like each time we've been together to worship since that horrible Saturday, we have definitely longed to have Matt walk out on stage and lead us again, but we have also praised the Lord and sang our hearts out more desperately than ever before...because we believe more than ever that what we are singing is true.  And we need it to be so.  So many are missing Matt now, our longing for heaven having only been increased.

While our church family's faith has been tested and we continue to grieve the loss of Matt's presence here on earth, we have all been raised up to invest more deeply and fully in the only thing that really matters.  And that is to know our Savior Jesus Christ, surrender our lives to him, and introduce as many as possible to him, so that we will celebrate and worship together for eternity.  Seriously friends, it's time for action over apathy, service over selfishness, and committment over complaining.  I have been so convicted over how we live so many days for ourselves, the created, while we should be focused only on the Creator.  We are kidding ourselves as Christians when we think we can look so much like the world but say we want a revival in the hearts and minds of God's people at the same time.  If we pattern our lives in much the same way as those who remain lost, how in the world will they ever know there's a life giving difference?  How will they want what we have?  Jesus is coming back, and we've got to start preparing as though we believe that is true.  Life on earth is just so short...and not what we should be living for anyway.

That's what's awesome.  Never have I been so drawn to thoughts of heaven, of longing to really truly know what dwelling in the presence of Jesus is like.  I am seeking the truth like I never have, reading my Bible with more intensity and longing than ever before.  Because I want to know.  I want to know everything about my Savior and why God sacrificed for us the way he did.  I want to experience the depth of this love now, not only so I can share it with others, but so that when I stand before my Father in heaven, I will know him more fully becaused I savored and sought him during my life on earth.  I want to run to his presence now, so that the depth of our relationship will be that much sweeter later.  I want to be so close to Christ that my life is naturally a light that leads the way for others.  What a gift we have been given...this world is not our home; it's merely a flicker, a glimpse in the span of all eternity.  We can't comprehend it because we weren't created to!  We struggle to embrace this truth often because we can't fully understand.  Though I am convinced more than ever that trying to understand is a waste of time.  Because our finite little minds can't possibly comprehend an ever-present, almighty, all-knowing and fully just Creator.  The one who has covered us completely and fully with the powerful gift of grace...so we never have to truly face death, and so we have the absolute gift of being fully in his presence one day.

That alone is what comforts us now in the midst of losing Matt from this life.  We rejoice that he is worshipping with his Creator.  That he has stepped into the beauty of eternity, the place we were actually created to be...with the One who made us, knows us, and loves us.  The only one not shocked by what has happened here is God.  He was sovereign before, and He is sovereign now.  He will work all things together for his good, and for the good of those who love him.

Please pray for his wife Ashley, and his 3 children, who now grieve through a pain like many of us cannot imagine.  The pit in my stomach aching for her loss has not gone away.  I have tears for her throughout the day, praying through different moments that she is carried step by step through this unimaginably hard time.  I join with so many others who are calling on God on her family's behalf.  Her faith has remained unwavered through it all, as she clings to her Savior and prays for his quick return for the rest of us.  Recently she said, "There is one thing that has become apparent to me through this unimaginable trial, the ONLY thing that matters is knowing Him & making Him known...He IS coming back, I desperately want you to be ready."

This broken, fallen world offers up pain in so many different ways...we often feel struck down, but we must remember that we will not be destroyed.  We have been made victorious through Christ, and in the end, He will overcome.  Most of the people who read my blog are friends or family, many believe and have repented and confessed Jesus as their Lord and Savior.  But if you are reading this and have no clue how or why to take that step, please ask.  God created us in order to have relationship with us, and be known by us...his love is everlasting and the eternal life we will get to share will far surpass the short time we spent on this fallen earth.  We all struggle and are the worst of sinners, yet we are all invited and welcomed.

Please also pray for Matt's parents, his brother and sister in law, his in laws, nieces and nephews, etc.  They have an amazing family who is shining a bright light through their pain, and who have been a witness to us all.  Yet the pain of losing his physical presence in their daily lives remains.  Please pray also for Kevin and the staff, as they are grieving, missing him at work and in daily life as well.  We have all been changed by this.  It has been hard for me to not keep saying, "This is so awful.  So awful."  I have hated it so many times, and wished I could change it so many more.  I have to cling to the truth that we serve a trustworthy and good God.  He alone has a truly eternal perspective, and holds us close to his heart.  He sees the whole picture and will be faithful to provide and heal.  He reminds us that this world is not our home.  Matt is victorious.  He is free from the pain of this broken world.  To us death feels awful, it's so hard to take.  But that's because it's not the way it was meant to be.  Jesus came so that we would have life, and have it to the full.  Death is part of the brokeness on earth, the fall out from sin.  I will admit I've struggled with the fear of losing loved ones for a long time.  Yet I am drawn to Paul's words in Philippians and convicted to decide if it's true for me as well: 

"For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.  If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me.  Yet what shall I choose?  I do not know!  I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far..." 

Later in 2 Timothy he says, "This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time, but it has now been revealed through the appearing of our Savior, Christ Jesus, who has destroyed death and has brought life and immortality to light through the gospel...." 

Also he says, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.  Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will awared to me on that day - and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing."

It doesn't take but a second to look around and witness a fallen world, living for nothing, in desperate need of a relationship with a life-giving Savior.  Turn on the t.v., the internet, whatever, and it seems like people just don't care anymore...like it's not worth standing for anything, so everything goes.  A spiritual battle is taking place.  Made obvious by the tragic, horribly sad and senseless shooting in Colorado, whose families desperately need our prayers as well.  This world is a mess...we are broken.  There is only One who can overcome it all...and we have got to run to him, while fearlessly bringing others to him as well.  Please join with me on a mission to stop wasting time...to get on our knees and cry out for redemption and deliverance.  To storm the gates of heaven on behalf of others.  To instinctively open our bibles and seek after God's heart, savoring his instruction and encouragement over turning on the t.v. or getting online. If we aren't desperate for him now, I shudder to think what it will take to get us there. Let's prepare the way for the Lord, so he will come quickly and reveal his glory.  We have to get over our fears and instead speak the truth boldly and live in a way that might just get us called crazy.  That pales in comparison to what Jesus endured on our behalf.  It's time to get serious and live like him.  Because this world is not our home.   And our true home is going to be absolutely amazing.

We sang this song at Matt's funeral:



Here is the video of the Sunday after Matt went to be with Jesus, and the sermon that followed.  Such a difficult day.

Southeast Christian Church from Southeast Christian Church on Vimeo.

Oldham Campus
July 8th Service

9 Beautiful Months

Well friends, there's no denying it. I have a 9 month old baby girl! Which, I have to say, is so.much.fun.  Discovery and a newfound determination and delight are the common themes. I am unfortunately getting used the the twinge in my heart everytime we turn over a new month and say goodbye to the past ones. I did, however, have a really neat moment yesterday, as Selah and I were having a dance party in the living room to our favorite worship music. The windows were open, the sun was shining, "Beautiful Things" by Gungor was on, reminding me of listening to it in the hospital in labor with her... and we were simply sharing joy through spins, giggles, and sways. As I held her close I imagined the years ahead of us of her growing up, and I was overcome with the realization that her joy as well as what God intends for her life means so much more to me than anything I selfishly might try to hold onto. I realized how deeply I love watching her grow and bloom into all that God made her to be. I am excited about the fun and new sweet things each new stage will bring. I honestly don't think I've ever before experienced the specific emotion I have when she discovers something new, or develops a new skill. It usually brings me to tears because it just amazes me. I pray often that God would allow me the opportunity to be around for a long time and experience the joy of being Selah's mom and watching her grow for many years. I realize her life is a gift, a blessing, and a privilege for me to get to enjoy.

So that said, I have peace knowing we are embracing each day, each month as they come with our sweet girl...taking photos, making memories, pausing in the small moments to take them in, soaking up the fascination of each new experience, surrendered to knowing that God brought this sweet girl into the world for his purposes, his glory...and we have been blessed with the opportunity to prepare her for just that. So I can honestly say with joy that I'm ready to celebrate having a 9 month old!

Speaking of which, what is our baby girl up to at 9 months? Well, she is still army crawling like crazy...every so often in the past couple days practicing getting up on her hands and knees. Wait until she realizes her need for speed. ;) She has recently figured out that she can follow me anywhere if she'd like, though I don't even go out of viewing distance of her. But it's cute that she follows. :) Just yesterday I said, "Let's go out here Selah," and she followed me out of the bedroom after I made the bed in the morning. It was so sweet. I don't provide the opportunity that often because as many of you know, you just don't turn your back on the sweet ones at this age. Because there's nothing more fascinating to them than anything that's not a toy! Especially a furry friend that's just about your size! She loves to do a friendly face off with Chai if he's on the floor and for any reason I'm not looking. But although he loves and is very protective of his baby girl, we usually make sure he's on the couch or up higher when she's around...because he is (thankfully) clueless of her very strong grip!

Selah's sitting on the first quilt I've ever made...hard work, but fun!

Just this past couple weeks she went from more of her pterodactyl speaking sound to a more confident 'roar' or deep, "Ah!" when she wants to communicate. (She does sound a little raspy like her mommy. :) And she's more interested than ever in being verbal and trying to make sure you know what she means. She also loves to sqeeze and shake those fists when she's making noise at someone. As with every new month, more and more of her personality seems to be shining through. She's more persistent when she wants or needs something, and if she's particulary hungry, tired, or needs mama comfort she will literally try to climb up or on me. It's so hilarious. The other day I was on the floor taking pictures of her and the next thing I know she's climbed all the way from my feet to my chest. I laughed out loud and asked her if maybe she was hungry? ;) Speaking of which, I'm in no hurry to wean her, and am feeling better and better about her experinces with food. She isn't exactly overly enthusiastic about solids just yet...except for puffs. She gets a kick out of those. But our baby girl tightens those lips like crazy. And she really has no interest in keeping those hands down. It is getting better and she's learning slowly how to open that mouth. And she does like some things better than others...orange things she likes, as well as green things mixed with pears. Oatmeal and rice...not as much. The doctor says persistence is key, so that's what we're going for. She does especially love her new sippy cups though! I have to laugh at how I always used to look at the people whose kids made a mess when they ate and thought I could surely do it neater than that. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Strip the baby for a feeding and give her a bath afterward. It's just easier when they enjoy the whole process. Ha.

Selah is still a great car traveler, though she'll only sleep on long trips. She loves the stroller and taking walks, and can go for quite awhile. She loves bathtime which is still also some of her storytime, and I haven't transitioned her to just sitting in the tub yet. I'm still feeling safer with her infant tub as long as she fits it! She averages 2-3 naps a day and I feel like we've got a pretty good rhythm. (though that always seems to change for a time after I blog about it!!) I do think consistent sleep is really important for her, and I try to guard her naps as much as I can. When I don't I definitely can tell! Selah is a little snuggler, and seems to enjoy rocking and singing, which I love. If I need to I can lay her down to go to sleep without rocking, but I try too savor that time and use it to transition her to sleep time as often as I can. I think my body has adjusted to the mommyhood fatigue though I still have super tired days, and am definitely tired after any big excursion. I'm such a night owl but have learned that going to bed early helps a ton.

This past month Selah has loved her shapes puzzle, her shape sorter, banging on her leapfrog drum, playing the xylophone, shaking anything that rattles or shakes, and holding two of anything that makes noise when she hits them together. She gets a real kick out of that last one. Oh, and Chai's leash or the zipper pulls on the diaper bag. Can't get enough of those either. She's also still very interested in books...though she prefers to handle them herself...and would just love to get ahold of all the ones with real paper in them! She also loves door stops. That is cute to watch. She actually still will play in the exersaucer for awhile, and she does like the jumperoo. She is especially proud of herself that she can open and close drawers!

Also, since her daddy returned from a two week trip to Israel about 2 weeks ago she thinks he is just the funniest thing. She's quite smitten it seems, and will crack up at him. I think that's when she also learned to say 'dada' more intentionally, and now it seems to be her favorite word. Though today she crawled right up to my feet and said, "Mum." So sweet. She also said "Mama" kind of unintentionally on Easter and babbles it every now and then. Though it's not any sort of pattern or anything. Sometimes the way she looks at me I think she wishes she could just say what she means. I'm trying to get her start with 'please' and 'thank you' - whether she means it or not! :) I haven't been as consistent with signs, but I'm realizing this age is when it's starting to be fun to teach her things...because she loves to watch and listen to me when I go into detail about whatever I want her to learn. So now when she does the sort of whining noise whenever she wants something, I'll start up a big conversation with her. And at least she stops and looks at me funny, so I'll take it! I'm learning she loves when we act goofy and silly. I really got her going after her nap today, just from making funny sounds. And wouldn't you do just about anything to hear your baby laugh? It's so awesome.




While he was away she also started shaking her head which looks like she's saying no, but it seems like she just uses it to communicate. She got her second tooth on the bottom 2 weeks ago, and just today I saw one on top peeking through! Oh my goodness, she's going to look like such a big girl with a mouth full of teeth one of these days! That teething is as tough as everyone says for sure. When they really seem to be giving her a tough time I give her a cube of frozen breastmilk in one of those littlle mesh things that she can chew. That seems to help a lot.



This past month was filled to the brim and seems to have flown by. Selah experienced her first girls' trip with my mom and I, she celebrated both of her grandma's and one of her grandpa's birthdays for the first time, she went swimming for the first time on Memorial Day, (which she loved!) and she made it through another doctor's appt. like a champ. Better than me at least. So far I think summer and babies are a fun combo...with hats and sunscreen of course. I just think onesies, shorts, and sundresses are the cutest.

 There's always so much more, but I think that's a good summary of all I hope to remember. It's just so crazy that when she lays on my chest now she seems to cover my whole self. So I snuggle her just a little closer, determined to wrap her in my arms as long as she'll fit! then I try to memorize exactly what that moment feels like. I sure hope it works. ;) I have been thinking and praying a lot about the best ways to spend our days and how to start discipling her and raising her with a heart that burns for God from a young age. I'm so thankful for some great books, awesome older moms in my life who are an encouragement, and great ideas out there in blog world. What a blessing to have so many resources that a lot of our parents didn't. Thank you Lord for letting me be a mom. There's no doubt the journey has its difficult moments and will refine the very depths of a person...but but it's the most rewarding and fully wonderful experience all at the same time. What's crazy is how I know this baby stage is the physically exhausting part...but I have a feeling it is emotionally the easiest it's going to get. I know this sweet precious girl I write about might just find her tongue and break my heart on some days...but that's okay. Because I'm focused on and savoring right now.

7 and 8 Months

(DISCLAIMER: This post is overloaded with the most random photos, both in quality and theme. The result of a lack of blogging and a lot of practicing my photography!  Lesson learned...blog more! Bear with me...I'm a mess! ;)

Inevitably when you wait a few months to post about the current month details get a little mixed up.  But I'd still like to go back and record what I can remember and the details of Selah's 7th and 8th months!  Those were the months of March and April, and I feel like it was a fairly significant turning point for me and finding my rhythm as a new mom and homemaker.  I'm such a looong transitioner it seems, but at least I'm finally figuring that out about myself!

(This is Chai watching over Selah while she sleeps - he loves his baby girl. Also a peek at the nursery...more to come!)

Kevin thinks it's hilarious that I love her funny faces...but I just love her silly personality!

At 6 months I had said Selah started taking great naps...and she did.  Then the teething monster came to town a couple weeks before 7 months and we had a little bump in the road.  I had started working out consistently at 6 months, and was hoping to be a better blogger.  But without naps...those kinds of things aren't for sure going to happen...if you're me.  It's amazing what can be accomplished during that time if you have it.  We made it through though, and Selah remained her content little self, proud of her latest accomplishment of rolling over.  She rolled all around, discovering all kinds of toys during her daily play times.  She returned to taking two good naps a day.  She also tried her first baby food! 

(Little tip...feeding a baby in a Johnny Jump up is not recommended - ha!)

In March we celebrated my grandmother's and my nephew's 5th birthdays, Selah thoroughly enjoyed her first March Madness...in which her daddy's favorite team, U of K won the whole thing!!  Such an exciting tournament around here.  Kevin and I both enjoy basketball, so it was a fun way to spend our weekends, while also having the added fun of sharing it with our girl! 

 

(Niece Kaydance LOVES Selah, and is thrilled to be getting a baby sister this summer!!)

(Chase also loves Selah...and turned 5 this year!)

I also made my first quilts that month, one for Selah, and one for the new baby of our sweet photographer friend who took the most amazing pictures at Selah's birth.  I really wanted to do something special for her little one, so I attempted my first real baby quilt!  It was a lot of fun (and work!) to put together and follow the steps to accomplish.  Before that I had made a rag quilt for Selah, as she received one as a gift when she was born and I was motivated to try it myself.  That one was also fun, and even easier than the second one.

(This is quilt #2 - the more complicated of the 2.  I'll post pics of the rag quilt in the 9 month post.)

(Uncle Darin and Selah)

We also celebrated my older brother's birthday, and Selah started waving hi and bye for the first time - first at church when leaving the nursery, then to my brother after we had met him for his birthday lunch.  It was so sweet.  That was March, then came April.

 
(Braelyn, Jallen, Trace, Selah, and Jaxon - major cousin LOVE.  Yay for another little one joining the family in December!!)

Happy first Easter!
First Easter basket: Under the Nile bunny, Easter Storybook Bible, Easter storybook, stuffed lamb.

We had another fun month, making some new memories.  We celebrated Selah's first Easter, which was sweet.  I love Easter, celebrating the resurrection, and welcoming Spring.  My grandma came to stay with us for a few days, which was quite a treat.  We had fun sewing together, going to JoAnn's and just hearing her amazing stories from the past 86 years.  When we left a trip to JoAnn's, Selah also threw her first mini-fit when I took something away from her in the store that she had grabbed from the cart.  While minor, it was so crazy.  We had finally reached the point where my sweet gal had a pretty strong opinion and wasn't afraid to make it known when she didn't get her way!  Of course we've seen more moments like this since then, but it's so crazy to see it for the first time.  At least at this stage it's quite shortlived even when it does come!

Selah and I also met some of my friends that I used to be in a bible study with for an amazing girls' weekend it Indiana.  It was an absolute blast.  We crafted our little hearts out, and enjoyed some much needed laughter.  Selah was sweet and content, (though not the best sleeper there), and right after we came home from there she started to crawl!  Now that was also quite amazing to see.  As well as the moment where life at home began to look quite different...but fun in a whole new way!

That's a pretty good summary of those months, of course not everything but definitely some highlights!  Those are just the events, though of course I could write a post about my feelings on each...but oh well.  Maybe some day!  Each month brings a new adventure in the first-time mom world.  I am so very thankful for every memory we are blessed to make!

A Life Lately List

(I wrote this post a month ago but forgot to post it...so I'm posting it now, but back dating it to then!)

1. Reconnected.  I restored my iPhone.  Do you know that I went 6 weeks without a phone at all in November and December, then almost 4 months with the cheapest most ghetto phone available.  Crazy.  Finally, I made some kind of peace with losing all of the many photos on my phone, (including newborn Selah), and much to my husband's delight, I asked him to finally restored it.  I learned 3 things from this experience:  a. Back up your photos regularly.  (I know, duh right?)  b. An iPhone is totally worth it - now that I have mine back I can't believe I went so long without it!  Much easier to manage life, capture moments, communicate, and find your way around. :) Also, I'm slowly learning to love instagram.  I recently just realized I had followers - ha.  c. It's so sad to lose photos...any photos.  But photos aren't the actual memories themselves.  And because of this experience I have printed more pictures, paid attention to what I'm capturing, and learned the value of making new memories rather than dwell on what's been lost in the past. I also spent so much time remembering the photos lost that now they won't be easily forgotten.

2.  Walking with Jesus.  My husband is taking a two week Jesus study trip to Israel.  It's a crazy story of how it all came to be, but God totally opened the door and made it happen.  Kevin felt so led to pursue the possibility, and it's pretty incredible how it all came to be.  We've never been apart for that long, in the entire 4 yrs. we've known each other.  The sacrifice on my side is worth it...because I believe in what God wants to do in his heart and life.  And I'm thrilled to see how his ministry and our family will be impacted for a lifetime.  I would be so, so grateful if you would pray for his safety, his health, and that God does an amazing work in Kevin's heart and life while he's there.  I'm so excited he gets to experience this...but please pray for my nerves and my heart as I pray for him and wait for him to come home!!

3.  Blogging.  No more empty 'returning to blog' promises.  :)  Of course once I claimed that on my last post, my baby girl took a sabbatical from napping.  Thankfully, she has returned to happy sleeping times throughout the day.  Good for mommy too!  So who knows if I'll be frequent...it's always my hope. Though I assure you if I am, the posts will haphazard until I get any rhythm back.  Or maybe forever.  Whatever.  Breastfeeding baby brain will get you every time if you ask me. ;)

4.  Speaking of baby.  We're still loving life with our little girl of course.  I love being a mom.  Don't get me wrong...I experience exhaustion, frustration, and self-induced mommy guilt with the best of them.  I struggle with organization and keeping a clean house; with consistency and keeping up with schedules.  But I also experience ridiculous and overwhelming joy and gratitude and fun in the mommy- hood.  It's the most rewarding experience I've ever had.  Sometimes I feel the freedom to live in grace; other times I allow the weight of the world's perceived expectations to overwhelm me.  This is when I stay away from Pinterest, Facebook, beautifully kept blogs and homes, and anything else that I allow to get in my head and tempt me to look for my value anywhere but from God.  At times I find joy in all these things...but at other times I just have to step away for a bit. Recently someone mentioned my blog and said, "I hope your joy is honest."  I tried not to read too much into it, as it's always difficult to blog if you worry too much about what others think.  For whatever reason it's become much more difficult since I had Selah for me to just put it all out there and not care.  I guess the motherhood is a sensitive world.  So different in so many ways for each of us.  I don't want to apologize for having a positive perspective, or worry about judgment if I'm having a bad day and decide to wear my heart on my sleeve.  Of course my blog is honest...it's one of my highest priorities for writing.  But I will always view the world and my life from the perspective of living an undeserved life that I'm grateful for.  Breathing itself is undeserved for us all...but by the grace of God he keeps letting us do it.  I really believe that.  Of course life itself is filled with sad days, happy days, depressed days and overjoyed ones as well.  I prayed for years to be a mom...and I consider it an undeserved blessing and an overwhelming privilege.  I will spend my years as one doing my very best to focus on the positive...even in the midst of crazy.  My prayer is that God will draw me more and more away from what people think...because it's exhausting.

5. Army crawl and Velcro diapers.  A couple weeks ago Selah and I got home from a girls' weekend with my friends from my old bible study in Cincinnati...right when I put her on the floor she decided to show me her new trick - she started army crawling!!  It was so awesome to see her go where she wanted to go for the first time.  And to watch my little fish propel herself across the floor.  I of course am getting a whole new kind of workout, but it's still the cutest thing.  Oh, and baby girl can now undo the velcro on the 4 or 5 velcro cloth diapers we have.  So funny...and cute to see her so proud of herself when she realizes she just accomplished something, though she's not sure quite what. :) Either the pants need to be on or snaps it is.

My Sweet Selah (a 6 month post)

(FYI - I also published a post I wrote when she was 5 months - but back-dated it to Feb. 16th!)

Oh my goodness, this is what happens every single month - I plan a post in my mind the whole month then she's already older! My baby girl is totally 7 months old is 2 days, but I'm in denial about how fast this past month flew by!

We definitely hit our sweet spot in a lot of ways at 6 months. Selah is taking two good naps a day, and I'm finally working out nearly every day, and feeling a million times better. She gets up a couple times a night for a 10 minute comfort feeding, and I know my next step will be getting her up and just rocking her back to sleep without eating. We're just not there yet. Though at 6 months Selah also started sleeping in her crib at naps and bedtime. It was my goal to have her there by that time, and it has (thankfully!) been very successful. But we did love that rock n play for quite awhile! Kevin finally admitted to me that there was a time when he wasn't real sure I'd ever put her in there. Ha! I'm so thankful he stayed graceful and never got impatient with me about this. It was hard for me, as I sure did love being able to reach over and hold her little hand!

Between 3 and 4 months I starting practicing letting her self-soothe when she was fussy not crying, and at 4 months I would put her in the crib for short periods of time to look at the mobile, or maybe take a short nap, so she would start to get used to it. It was so difficult for me to make that nighttime transition though. It still feels weird that she's down the hall from me. I don't always prefer it, though I could totally tell when it was time, and when the space and the comfort of it was the best for her. And of course I just might have slept in there on the floor that first night! I also make plenty of trips down the hall just to see and feel her breathing. It always reminds me to be thankful for this precious life. She does seem to sleep great in there. Now she is a great self-soother, and almost always gets herself to sleep without getting upset, which I'm so thankful for. (Now if she's over-tired it might take a little more effort.) Selah only has tears if there's a real reason it seems. I will say that while I'm not a follower of Babywise, I did find a book that has been helpful called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child," and has a lot of good stuff in it that really seemed to also fit with my instincts and desires, while also helping me make wise choices for Selah.

I don't regret one single second of holding my sweet baby girl, or letting her take naps in my lap, which happened a lot those first 3 months. She is growing so fast from a baby to a little girl, and I treasure every moment we've been blessed to spend with her so far. I'm especially thankful for those months because now that I have my energy back it seems like there's so much I want to fit in during nap times. Sometimes I have to remind myself to be still like I was so often then.

Every night I lay my hands on her, praise the Lord for her life, and pray in the name of Jesus for his continued protection of her life. My favorite sight in the whole world is to look in and seek her little chest and belly rise up and down, as the Lord continues to give her each beautiful breath. I would rather stare at the wonder of my baby girl than any great wonder of the world. I am overflowing with gratitude for this life the Lord allows me to live. Kevin and I intensely enjoy our little family, including sweet Chai, who loves our baby girl as well. He was a little nervous at first, but now we can totally tell how protective he is of her, and how much he loves to see her after we've been out of the house for a bit. She also just loves to get her hands on him, and lights up when she sees him.

Selah is not yet sitting up, but she is rolling all across the room and loving her toys. She can also work her feet to propel herself all around in a circle. She loves to shake anything that rattles, and play with anything that crinkles. She also loves banging her toys together so they make noise. She really loves reading books, (and chewing on them), and she still really enjoys bath time. Her favorite part is getting to chew on a washcloth. Kevin and I love singing to her, and making her smile and laugh. She's a great car rider, and extremely flexible in most any situation. She really seems to love people, and each week she enjoys the nursery at church. (We started that at 5 months). She does seem to get a cold from it most every week, which we don't love. Oh, and right around my brother's birthday at the end of March she started waving on her own...so cute! Kevin has been working with her even more on this since then.

(Check out that laundry - totally keeping it real!)

Breastfeeding is still going great, and it is the number one thing I am so thankful I persevered through and worked hard at. It's been a very special experience for me, more than I would have thought. Our pediatrician had told us at 4 weeks that I would always probably have to supplement, but at 6 weeks, with the wonderful help of my lactation consultant and some curl my toes hard work, we never had to supplement again. (and I was able to stop pumping 10 times a day - that was awful.) It's amazing what a different experience the whole thing is by 3 months! Not everyone's preference, I know (and respect!), but it has been something I've loved. I know we are now right on the edge of what it will be like once Selah realizes she can get down from my lap on her own! Though we're not rushing that mobile phase. :)

She makes the cutest, funniest noises, that we call the pterodactyl. It's hilarious. She does this especially when she wants to get your attention or "talk." She also loves to make all kinds of noises with her mouth, and she sticks her tongue out a lot. We just love all her little personality traits.

Besides the Jesus Storybook Bible and her Goodnight Bible, our favorite books to read are "I Love You This Much," "On the Night You Were Born," "God Created Everything," "Pat the Bunny," "Mommy Hugs," "Guess How Much I Love You," "Wherever You Are," and "Ten Tiny Puppies." She also likes all the Eric Carle books. My favorite moments of the day include when I sing to her, dance with her, and greet her super smiling face after a good nap. I also love feeding her and staring into those amazing blue eyes of hers. We also love our walks. She could contentedly go forever in that stroller it seems. Maybe she experiences God through nature much like her mom. :) Hopefully we'll be taking her hiking during this beautiful spring soon.

She is truly fascinating to both Kevin and I. We are constantly commenting on how neat she is, and we just can't tell her enough how much we love her. Kevin always tells her how we love how God made her. We call her Selah girl, Baby girl, Sweet girl, and Baby Love - probaby in that order. We sing the first few lines of the song, "Baby Love" to her what seems like a hundred times a day...sometimes changing the first words to "Selah girl, my Selah girl, I love you oh how I love you girl!" Then I say, 'doo-ta-doo, do do da doo-ooh, do do do' which honestly seems like her favorite line. Ha. :) She also loves the song, "I love you, a bushel and a peck," and my grandma recently taught me the rest of it when she sang it to Selah! It was so sweet. Selah is also fond of bouncing on my knee, or anything you do to try to make her laugh. She really gets a kick out of our craziness.

6 months also brough Selah's first March Madness experience - which was pretty amazing given the fact that we live in Kentucky, her daddy's a crazy UK fan and UK won it all! The whole tournament was fun though - it seemed like there were so many good games this year, and we enjoyed every one! I also made my first quilt and Selah tried solid food. (which so far she's a little indifferent to.) She also was so brave for her shots. Kevin and I on the other hand, well, it was not our favorite thing!

It's just so crazy how much I feel joy in being Selah's mom, and how I have the most unbelievable peace that this is what I was created for. And that must be why I longed for, dreamed about, and desperately prayed that this would be a reality in my life. Which is why I thank the Lord over and over every day that He gives me to enjoy it. He is incredibly gracious and an amazing gift giver, that's for sure!

Well, the sunshine, springtime, and regular nap times have brought with them some extra energy and focus for me, thankfully! Hopefully that means I'm also coming more regularly back to blogging. Though my computer is broken so that doesn't make it much easier, I have to say. But I do feel like I have much to catch up on, and a lot to share about what God is teaching me lately. And I sure do love and miss my bloggy friendships! Thanks for reading!