Dear Zoe (On the Night Before You're One)

Sweet Zoe girl....how can we be at this moment, how can I be sitting down to write this today??  That precious, painful, beautiful night of bringing you into this world does not seems like a year ago.  I still remember every little detail of that life changing day.  It was actually at this exact time that I was checking in the hospital, unknowingly at 7cm, but in crazy pain waiting for somebody to come to the desk.  What an incredible night.  We have been through so much together since you came into this world.  It has not been easy by any means...but you my sweet girl are an amazing blessing to this family.  This past 12 months have seemingly flown by now that I'm in this moment...but in many ways it's been quite a long and hard year.  It's surreal that the joy of meeting you has been in the same year as the pain of losing our dear friend.  This will always be a time in your life that I will use to teach you about trusting the Lord and clinging to his strength. There have been intense and painful moments...but completely and overwhelmingly joy-filled ones as well.  You my sweet daughter, are my precious Zoe Joy.  I will never pretend like our first year together was always peaches and rainbows because one day when, prayerfully, you're a mommy who adores her babies, you will be more encouraged by the truth than anything I could say to pretend it away.

As I sit here and reflect on all the days that brought us here, I remember few of them without a million snuggles a day with you.  That is one thing I treasure about you...you love love.  From the moment you were born - literally - you wanted to be close to your mama.  You wanted to feel me, touch me, know I was right there.  And you are still that way.  It most certainly took me awhile to learn how to live without very long stretches of time of being able to use two hands. ;)  You have occupied my arms during your little life more than you have not, I'm almost certain.  And oh how you loathe sleep and recently I've made some desperate pleas to the Lord for help.  But I have always known the tough part of this training for you comes from how much you just really don't want to be alone in this life.  And baby girl, that is okay.  It is really important that you start sleeping a lot more soon ;), but I don't ever want you to believe the lie that needing others is a bad thing.  It's wonderful to know how precious and important relationships are.  God has given us such an amazing gift to have each other to love, and you have such a gift of pouring it out and being so open to receiving it.

The honest truth is that you have been amazing through so many changes and experiences you've had in your first year of life.  You learned to travel well and relax in the car, even though it took months.  You've always been so good at being my baby, and it seems weird that now your entering into toddler hood.  I am still amazed we survived through the moving and all the traveling and adjusting - it's crazy when I think back.  But we figured it out.  I hope you'll be gracious to forgive how the fatigue has affected my memory so much more fully this time around.  But even if I don't have each sweet detail perfectly documented, always know baby girl that I am present with you and your sister every day.  And even on the hard, exhausted, not so pretty days, there are always a million moments that I stand back and stare at you two in complete fascination.  I LOVE talking to you in my mama voice and just getting that big Zoe grin in return.  And the way you open those hands wide and reach out for me is the sweetest.  It's almost so amazing and surreal that I can't emotionally comprehend it a lot of the time.  I pray some day you will be blessed with little ones of your own and know just what I mean.

Some things we've grown to know and love about you....you are a mover and a shaker.  Just like in the womb.  That part does not surprise me at all.  You amaze me with how you move even while your nursing.  It's actually kind of hilarious.  And while you have always, always loved sitting on a lap and listening to books being read, most other times you are wiggly and busy.  You do love being worn in the carrier and you ADORE being in the stroller and walking.  It's the sweetest contentment.  You are curious and determined, you have sort of rushed through the stages and I just go with it, even though I certainly don't encourage it. ;) You hardly did any baby food at all, and are a champ at eating.  That's what's sweet about you...as much as you do not want to be alone or too far from somebody else, you are the most flexible little gal.  You really do go with the flow and honestly just want to have a good time.

Which leads me to what everyone has noticed first about you since the moment you were born...

you are CUTE.  So stinking cute.  A lot of times I write a little update blog post in my head and I always want to start with, "She's so cute I can't stand it."  Seriously baby girl, you smile with your whole face.  You lean your head back and giggle your little heart out.  You are the easiest person to photograph because you've always looked right at me and smiled.  You love when someone looks at you, notices you, loves on you....and you always reward with the biggest, toothiest, happiest smile.  You have a sweet, curious, playful little heart, and I'm so glad you are mine.

There is no way I could write about you without talking about your very best friend...your sister Selah. It brings me the greatest joy ever to see the way you two love each other.  It's amazing and fascinating and I am so beyond thankful that you have one another.  Every morning you are both so eager to see each other.  Selah still calls you "Yo-ee,"  but I can tell she's about to transition out of that.  For the first 6 months at least it was "Baby."  It's all been so cute I don't rush any of it away.  No one makes you smile like she does, and you want to participate in whatever she is doing.  She absolutely adores you Zoe, don't ever forget that.  Even now when you are really starting to let your own personality and preferences shine, and you two get in some little squabbles, I still see you are for each other and your friendship is deep.  I pray that is always true, even as the squabbles potentially get a little more intense throughout life.  You are best friends and God has blessed you deeply by giving you to one another.  Selah has always looked out for you and wanted what's best for you since the day you joined our family.  She is always telling mama what baby sister needs. :)

And now the night before your very first birthday.  It's crazy, truly.  Though I may be obviously really tired, I am even more thankful.  This role is special, this life is special, every single little minute we have together is so special.  Every day, every month, every year I hope I'm growing at this mothering privilege.  I'll never forget a moment I had with you at my 6 week dr.'s appointment after you were born.  I looked at you and knew deep in my heart you would not be interested in staying a baby for long.  I knew you'd always need me, but there has always been a sparkle in your eye to grow and live and move and explore.  I pray my heavenly Father keeps leading me to know how to love and lead you best.  It's a big role and I'm having a whole lot of fun, even when the days bring tears.  I love you Zoe Joy.  We all love you so very much.  Your daddy is so proud of you and so delighted by you.  We love how you crawl right up into our laps and hug us tight around the neck when we are sitting on the floor. Or how anytime we get you out of your crib you give us the biggest squeeze.  You even already love giving kisses and smacking your little lips together.  You amaze me sweet thing.  I'm excited to continue celebrating you tomorrow on your big day.  It's been fun to celebrate you already with our families.  God created you for a purpose precious girl, and I pray he pursues your heart more and more every day, and that you would be drawn into relationship with him and trust him with your whole heart.  Here's to year two with you Zoe Joy Marie...we are sure looking forward to it!  Happy almost birthday sweet one. :)


The Only Relief in Grief

Grief can be wearying.  It often feels like a struggle to want to make sense of what feels awful, while actually having to surrender the reality.  It's a fight to selfishly want to understand and get some control over what feels like chaos, while accepting that we are the created, not the Creator...the children, not the Father.  It can grip your heart, invade your dreams, tempt you with fears.  It is shocking when you least expect it.  Sometimes it is lonely and confusing.  Though the process might be natural, that doesn't mean it's comfortable.

We are continuing to grieve over the loss of our dear friend Kristen Sauder.  It does not feel right that we have lost her from this life.  My guess was true a couple weeks ago when I assumed we would only miss this precious friend more and more as the days passed.  It feels like the wind gets knocked out of me when I want to pick up my phone and text her, or when I so desperately wish for another conversation...another experience of her sweet smile, her infectious laugh, her deep, soulful, Jesus seeking wisdom.  When I want to see her sweet family, all together.  When I think of all the lessons, the teaching, the memories, the moments, the experiences shared, her incredible family...it aches.  I did not get to know her long enough.  We are in a new place and a new ministry and talk about her all the time, trying to explain to people just who this amazing woman was, and how she so greatly influenced our lives...and it always brings me to tears.  It feels sweet but sad when my daughter recites her first "Picture Scripture."  I want to be able to share with Kristen face to face what a difference she's making in my family.  I'm constantly thinking, "we need her here."  Actually I believe the whole world needs her here.  I want her here for her family.  For her husband to love, adore and enjoy, for her children to have her affections, her leadership, her friendship.  For more memories to be made here.  She was an amazing wife and mother.  And I know I don't even know the depth of how amazing they know her to be.  We are really hurting for them.  It's actually incredible how intensely she and Kurt have affected every area of our family and ministry.   How they are intertwined forever in how we seek after Jesus, long to know his word while shining our light for him, and prayerfully lead our children to as well.

So we have had some seriously sad days, continuing to hurt and question, to wonder and seek the Lord and his truth in all this.  Just like the day she went to be with Jesus, I randomly have times where I feel like someone is taking a bat to my knees and I might fall on my face.  There are moments it grips me painfully hard, especially when I am focused on my own understanding, or lack thereof.

There is only one thing that brings me relief, that picks me up from a low place when I am tempted to stay there...

"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an ETERNAL GLORY that far outweighs them all.  So we FIX OUR EYES not on what is seen, but what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

Now we know if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands.
LONGING to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling,
because when we are clothed, will not be found naked.
For while we are in this tent we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed, but to be clothed with our HEAVENLY DWELLING, 
so that
what is mortal may be swallowed up by LIFE.
Now it is GOD who has made us for this VERY PURPOSE
and has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come."
(2 Corinthians 4:17-5:5)

Do you know what brings me relief in grief?  It is in the knowing, in the realizing that if we think what we are living here on earth is LIFE, then we are greatly deceived.  A body and "life" that is mortal has an end.  REAL LIFE does not end..."real" life is abundant, eternal, EVERLASTING.  There is no grief in "real" life!  It is actually a gift of grace from our Father that we are allowed to know so much joy, beauty, and goodness in these earthly, mortal dwellings.

We must fix our eyes on Jesus.  We are like grasshoppers you all.  This is serious.  Open up to the Psalms, or to Isaiah, and get to know the One who made you.  When I think about me, my plans, my purpose, my understanding, I am not in a good place.  But when I crack open my bible, pour over those divinely inspired words, and turn the worship music up loud, I dwell on the character of God, the sovereignty of my Creator, and I know peace.  I admit I wanted him to answer our fervent intercession for her life differently.  Yet that is my own understanding.  I do not know the plans, but He knows them well...they are his.  They are good plans.  Kristen said so herself on her blog.  This "life" on earth is but a vapor, a mist, a breath.  What awaits us is an eternal glory that far outweighs it all.

We aren't here for ourselves...we are here for HIM, so that one day all may come to him.  We are here right now for the opportunity to know him forever and be known by him here and experience it now and then.  There is work to be done here, and a relationship with our heavenly Father to be poured into here.  He will give us rest for our weary souls.  

While this time often has a sad stillness lingering over it, like how can we move forward in life and ministry without a woman who led us and loved us so well through it, that is exactly what we have to do.  We will continue to enjoy her sweet self by sharing memories of her, spurring each other on with all she taught us and poured out with her life.  In honor of her, for the sake of Christ.  Kristen was battling boldly for the purpose of her Lord.  She wanted ALL to come to the saving knowledge of him.  She prayed for and sought after revival.  The Jesus whose feet she sits at now, is the very one she longed for all to be in relationship with.  I will carry on equipped with the Word of the Lord, and spurred on with the encouragement of a sister who faithfully laid out the path.  You know how she knew the path?  She knew Jesus.  And now she KNOWS him.  EVERY time I want to ask her what I should do in a certain situation, I KNOW what she would say...pray.  Take it to Jesus.  Get on your knees.  Work it out in your journal, look for it in scripture,go back and forth in conversation with him.   Be relentless in your seeking after him.  He exists to be found, so do the searching!  Offer yourself to the good plans he has for here, which have significance that lasts way beyond.

I hurt with her family and her friends, her loved ones, and all who just don't want to see any sort of future without her right here in the present.  Oh how there was so much more "life" here to be lived with her.  But oh how short this "light and momentary" present will really turn out to be.

You might think you want it all here friends.  But trust me, you don't.  There is so much more at stake.  

I wrote out almost all of 2 Corinthians 4 and 5 in my journal yesterday.  Read it.  Read all around it.  It is rich and good.  It is life-giving.  Earlier in the chapter Paul writes,

"We are hard-pressed on every side,
but not crushed;
but not in despair;
but not abandoned;
Struck down,
but not destroyed.

We always carry in our bodies the death of Jesus, 
so that 
the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body....
All this is for your benefit,
SO that
the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to OVERFLOW to the GLORY OF GOD.
Therefore, we DO NOT LOSE HEART."

I do not know what you personally are going through, but do not lose heart.  I could have saved you all the reading of this post by simply typing out the oh-so-powerful lyrics of "Come to Me," sung by Jenn Johnson.  It is on an intense repeat for me right now.  This is my anthem.  This is what he's calling us to do friends.  Run there, meet him there.  Keep your eyes on him.  He's all you need.

I am the Lord your God,
I go before you now.
I stand beside you
I’m all around you
And though you feel I’m far away
I’m closer than your breath
I am with you
More than you know

I am the Lord your peace
No evil will conquer you
Steady now your heart and mind
Come into my rest
And oh, let your faith arise
And lift up your weary head
I am with you
Wherever you go

Come to me, I’m all you need
Come to me, I’m everything
Come to me, I’m all you need
Come to me, I’m your everything

I am your anchor, in the wind and the waves
And I am your steadfast, so don’t be afraid
Though your heart and flesh may fail you
I’m your faithful strength
And I am with you
Wherever you go

Don’t look to the right or to the left, keep your eyes on me
You will not be shaken, you will not be moved

I am the hand to hold, I am the truth, I am the way
Just come to me, come to me
Cause I’m all that you need


The Anchor Holds

"I have fought the good fight, 
I have finished the race, 
I have kept the faith." 2 Timothy 4:7

Kristen most certainly did.  Last Wednesday morning, our friend and sister in Christ,  Kristen Sauder, went home to be with Jesus.

Kevin and I have been friends with the Sauder family for several years, we were in ministry with them in Louisville for a season, and have stayed with their children on several occasions. We have a deep, deep love for them.  They have both mentored us, loved us, encouraged us, prayed for us, and believed in us.  We hold dear our memories with this faithful family.  We are heartbroken.

There are no words adequate to describe the journey we have been on this past 13 months, battling for our sister in prayer, seeking the Lord to show himself faithful, to restore life to this precious woman of God.  We have wept and wept, clung to one another for comfort, covered her four amazing children and beloved husband in the strongest prayer we know how.  This really, really hurts.

It is a gut-wrenching kind of pain to lose a life so precious, so impactful, so significant to so many.  We really, really miss her presence with us here....and that reality will not go away.  Here's the truth I've concluded.  This life on earth...it will rip your heart out.  And honestly, I know I don't have to convince most of you of that, because you already know.  Yet God is GOOD, his Word is TRUE, and he sent his son that we may have abundant LIFE.  He did not intend for death.  That is the very reason it is awful.  Death is not from our Creator, our Father, our Healer and Redeemer.  Death is dark, it is intended by the evil one to steal, kill, and destroy.  We know the minute it happens that this is not how it was meant to be.  While we are here we are meant to be longing fully for heaven, to be in the presence of Jesus.  You might remember only 18 months ago when I wrote about the loss of our brother in Christ, Matt D, due to a heartbreaking tragedy. While we rejoice for him and know that the Lord is always healing, the heartache of that loss remains.  At the time he was on staff with Kristen's husband Kurt, as well as with my husband.  When we celebrated his life I sat right beside Kristen, worshipped and wept with her.  Honestly, this just feels shocking and surreal.  But just as it was true then, it is true now: we have been struck down but not destroyed.  This world is not our home...and the battle rages on.  Yet this enemy has been DEFEATED.  We are in the presence of the mighty God of angel armies and he ALWAYS has the final say.  Kristen is home, where God intended and longs for us all to be, and she is more ALIVE than she's ever been before.  It does not matter what pain-inducing attempts the enemy makes to strike us and shake us and convince us that we are abandoned....he is WEAK.

He knows who holds the future and the VICTORY.  We are not abandoned, we are not alone, we will not be shaken....God is FOR US.  Jesus reigns forever.  (worshipping to this today)  He is FAITHFUL.  He WILL sustain the Sauder family, and get them through the hardest of days.  We will be battling in prayer for Him to do so.  He will work mightily throughout the entire community she left.  His promises are good and true, and we can stand firmly on them.

One of my favorite verses in the Bible, right at the top of my list of life leading verses, is Isaiah 40:21-22:

"Do you not know?  Have you not heard?  Has it not been told you from the beginning?  Have you not understood since the earth was found.  
He sits ENTHRONED above the circle of the earth, and its people are like GRASSHOPPERS. 
           He stretches out the heavens like a canopy, and spreads them out like a tent to live in."

I actually could write out all of Isaiah 40.  There is so much rich, comforting, ground shaking truth....
our Lord sits enthroned above the earth and we are like grasshoppers.  It is crazy because it's impossible for us to comprehend, we are unable to even fully take in what this means.  I don't love this verse because it is the most comforting at first glance...but it is what assures me that the Rock I put my faith and trust in is worthy, faithful, and immovable.  He is SOVEREIGN.  Life here does not happen by chance, and there is a Ruler over all...and he is GOOD.  I am like a grasshopper in comparison...who am I to question my Creator, THE Creator?!  Here are some other verses that God is using to assure my heart through this...

Psalm 18 "I love you O Lord, my strength.  The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer.  My God is my ROCK in whom I take refuge.  He is my SHIELD and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.  I call to the Lord, who is WORTHY OF PRAISE, and I am saved from my enemies....

As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless, He is a shield for all who take refuge in him....it is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect....

The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul.  The statutes of the Lord are TRUSTWORTHY, making wise the simple.  The precepts of the Lord are RIGHT, giving JOY to the heart.  The commands of the Lord are RADIANT, giving light to the eyes.  The fear of the Lord is PURE, enduring forever.  The ordinances of the Lord are SURE and altogether righteous.  They are more precious than gold; they are sweeter than honey....

I am STILL confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
WAIT for the Lord.  Be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord!

The Lord sits enthroned over the flood; the Lord is enthroned as King forever.  
The Lord gives strength to his people;
the Lord blesses his people with PEACE."

Psalm 31 - "I will be glad and rejoice in your love, for you saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul.  You have not handed me over to the enemy but have set my feet in a spacious place...

Be merciful to me, O Lord, for  I am in distress;
my eyes grow weary with sorrow.
My soul and my body with grief.
My life is consumed with anguish and my years by groaning;
my strength fails because of my affliction, and my bones grow weak....

But I TRUST IN YOU, O Lord; I say, "You are my God."  My times are in your hands; deliver me from my enemies, and from those who pursue me.  Let your face shine on your servant; save me in your unfailing love...How great is your goodness; which you have stored up for those who fear you, which you bestow in the sight of men, on those who take refuge in you.

So our church family in Louisville, alongside Kristen's family and other dear friends, are in a time of grieving for the loss of this lovely, passionate, and mighty woman/warrior of God who we all asked God so fervently to allow to remain with us for a longer time....while we are left here on earth to carry on.  Yet we are also joined together to PRAISE him through this pain, not only because we know he is worthy of praise, in every season, but because that is what our friend Kristen led us to do all throughout her courageous battle with cancer.  God is sovereign in a way that we cannot comprehend and often don't even like.  Our understanding is so limited....we often want answers but have to remember again and again that He IS the answer.  We ask why he would allow pain like this to people who are seeking hard after him, to a family who is as devoted to him as any person you will ever find.  And he responds by telling us to TRUST.  To seek after him and to WAIT.  That was part of the message given at her funeral, truly a celebration of her life.  God asks us to trust who he says he is, and to look to him for strength for the days we have to endure until we can be with him as well.  He has the final say, he knows what he's doing, and his plan is to bring all to him.  His plan is for good, and he knows this time on earth is a vapor, a mist, a breath.  We feel like the joy should be found here, but He knows the JOY is found in him and with him.  His ways are not our ways, but we do know that we are all on our way to the plans he has for us. Good plans for those who love him.   And we do know that the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.   He intends for us to do the work!  It won't be long until the ultimate redemption is realized, until all is made new, until all is made whole, until we can be with our friend Kristen and many other loved ones again.  Yet his work on earth is not finished and he asks those of us devoted to him to sow, sow, sow.  Do not hesitate, do not waste another minute waiting to share the salvation intended for all.  If God is waiting to make his return until the work is done, then we certainly need to increase the effort.

The spiritual temperature is rising, do not doubt that for a minute.

God is on the move, there is a battle at hand.  The enemy prowls around and won't stop at anything to try and manipulate our focus off of the very fact that we are in the middle of the battle.  He wants us to want it all here on earth, to believe that this is all there is.  To think there's no such thing as eternal significance.  A place where it is all about us, and now and 'live for today.'

 Do not think it is a coincidence when you are tempted on all sides, when you can't seem to find time to read the Word, when prayer seems too difficult or boring, when you feel hate or judgment for those around you or spend your time invested in things that don't matter...or things that frankly bring zero glory to God.  There is an enemy intentionally at work here.  But the good news is still the GOOD NEWS.  We have broken all of our promises and fall flat on our faces in failure to live honorably before the Lord we belong to.  Yet He, in his gracious mercy and love, out of the kindness that He is, sacrificed his only son to pay the price so His promise of redemption and eternal, abundant, amazing LIFE would belong to ALL who believe and surrender their lives back to him.  He has armed us for this battle.  Run to Him.  Ask him to change you with life shattering truths when you open your Bible.  Then open it.  Make an appointment with him and be changed by your encounter with your Creator.  You will find no rejection.  The invitation is always open.

As much as our world is desperately trying to become a very "gray" place to live, do not be deceived.  You do have to choose a side.  To either be following the Spirit's lead, or living by the flesh.  The scariest place to be is one where you think all of your choices are not either born of the flesh OR born of the Spirit.  The power of the Holy Spirit is a great one, and leads only to life.  This is not a battle against flesh and blood, but a spiritual battle, and the forces of evil futilely working to steal, kill, and destroy lives do not rest.  BUT they are weak, they will not have the final say, and we have the power of the Holy Spirit, the very same power Jesus had when he stood up to the enemy here on earth. God is love, and he draws us to himself, so that very love can flow through us onto a hurting and lost world.

You might think this is the grief talking...and it definitely is.  But that's because if God gets the glory and he works ALL things together for the good of those who love him, then let that goodness start now.  It has never felt more real or clear to me that this world has nothing for me, and this earth is not our home.  What a privilege that He even allows us to know so much joy here.

Honestly, we all wanted so desperately for Kristen to live....here, with us, right now.  She was doing a mighty work here on earth for the glory of the Lord with her family.  She was FAITHFUL.  I still want her to be here, I wanted many more days of knowing her, learning from her, following her lead in life and ministry, enjoying her friendship.  I love her children with an intense love, and I want them to be able to be held by their mother for longer here.  That's because I am still so human, so earthly unable to grasp that her present reality is the REWARD she lived for.  She is alive.  For now I only know in part.  The truth is, over time God will be faithful to heal our hearts in some way.  But with each new season of life, a soul like Kristen's will only be missed more.  God has created us with a longing for Heaven.  So if you've ever wondered if this is all there is, a life that inevitably keeps offering pain, the answer is joyfully no.  More awaits than I can comprehend.

I have so, so much more to share about this sweet soul we lost, the impact she had on me, the legacy she has left, and all that she has taught me, especially in this last year as we were forever changed by learning to fervently seek after the Lord.  But for now I felt the desperate need to share what I know without a doubt is truly needed for us to do...

"Turn your eyes upon Jesus; look full in his wonderful face.  And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of his glory and grace."

Fix your eyes fully on Jesus my friends, and this earth and the sorrow it tries to weigh us down with will be dimmed.  Kristen most certainly knew this and lived this....she drew ALL of us to this...and now she worships right there in his presence, she is rewarded in full.  She would want you to know this....God loves you so much, more than you can imagine.  He is inviting you to come and see the abundant life he has for you too.  He is waiting for YOU.  "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." (Jeremiah 29:13)  Kristen absolutely did, and we are so thankful for how it has radically changed us all.  We will miss her every day until the Lord takes us home too.

Please, please pray for Kristen's husband Kurt, and their children.  They are experiencing the most intense kind of grief.  Their sadness is so deep....yet their faith remains unshaken.  They know the Lord is faithful and that He will carry them.  Also read her story and hear Kristen's very own heart on their blog, Further Still.  There you can also find resources, authored by her and her husband, that will change your life.

Kristen did this interview a little over a month ago, after she was told she had 5 days to live.  Take this amazing woman's words to heart.  "I have sought the Lord and I have found him....when your worst nightmare comes true, the anchor holds.  I am with the One who loves me."

When we all get to Heaven, what a day of rejoicing that will be!!

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