(This has been a hilarious and memorable due date; Selah woke up super early and I made her wait way too long for me to get her up. I can hardly walk and wince in pain just standing up...which means I practically have to drop her in her crib for naps. She was more whiny than usual (surely not because her parents are a mess!?) Kevin came home to take us to brunch but accidentally slashed his finger in the glider while on the phone (???) It's pretty bad and has been throbbing all day. Oh and we did make it to lunch, then to the pet store which I thought she'd love....not so much. The cats made Kevin sneeze all afternoon. Oh my. All while the rain came down and we carried on with our usual crazy. Never a dull moment! Zoe is coming into quite the party :) Credit to Jenna Maddux Photography for doing a beautiful job taking our maternity photos! So glad we squeezed them in!!)
I know it might seem crazy to call you beautiful before I've ever seen your face, but I know you are being uniquely and wonderfully knit together by our heavenly Father....so I know you are a beautiful, amazing creation. I guess it's weird to think I'm writing a letter to a little life I've never met. But the second I say that I realize we have spent the last 40 weeks getting so acquainted. You were breech for about 34 weeks, and it was a whole different experience having my little one's head closer to my heart. What I loved most about your position was how intensely, (though painfully;) I was able to feel your movements. I always felt like people would look at me and be shocked by how crazy my belly looked while you moved. It definitely made it easier for your daddy to feel your movements and see your little body rolling all over in there. Every time he sees or feels it he gets really close to my belly and says, "Zoe, what are you doing in there? We can't wait to meet you and we love you so much..." It is a powerful experience to have your belly prayed over when you're pregnant and we've done that too.
I imagine loving you will be a divine adventure....filled with tears and triumphs, sweet moments and sometimes crazy ones. More than anything I know we will have to seek after and trust God with every step. You are his sweet child, and we are the privileged ones who get to know you and raise you. And know we pray fiercely for you baby girl. I will spiritually fight for you every day of your life. God has taught me so much in my journey as a mother so far, and I know with every life he entrusts to us those lessons will only increase. I hope you always know how very much I love being a mom...and I so love being your mom my Zoe girl. Trust me when I say, I work really hard at keeping a grateful positive perspective. But I am obviously far from perfect...God is continually refining me and I will just hate it when I fail you. Unfortunately, I know there are times when my broken self will. That is the beauty of grace...receiving and offering it freely and fully. One of the biggest struggles of all for me as it has been no easy task in my life. But oh how I'm thankful for God's constant pursuit.