Okay, so technically I'll be 20 weeks (yay!) on Thursday, but oh well. I'm finally writing! Let's talk about this little one. I am so happy to say I'm pretty sure I'm past the nauseousness and sickness. I mean, something really gross might throw me over the edge, but I am thrilled nonetheless to eat (somewhat) normally. It kind of happened gradually, where just in the last few days I've realized I'm not so sick. So thankful. Now, I'm exhausted. Like, can't shake the fatigue no matter how much rest I get tired. But it's all good. I'm over the moon thankful to have this little one growing inside me, so much that at times I want to burst into tears. I just love this little one like I've already held and snuggled him or her. And it's so awesome that he or she is starting move more. I love those wiggles!!! This one feels a little more up and down than Selah did, so I'll be so curious to see this baby on the ultrasound - which is a week from today!! Okay, here's the stats:
How far along: 19 (and 1/2) weeks
Size of the baby: A mango! I love mangos! ;)
Gender: Our ultrasound is next week, BUT we are going to have the technician circle it on a piece of paper and put it in a box that I will wrap up and put under our tree for Christmas! I know, we are super duper crazy - and I hope we will last. But I kind of want to feel like a kid at Christmas time. It's not always easy to create that feeling as an adult. I am so seriously curious and anxious to know though. I feel like I will be shocked either way, as weird as that may sound. My pregnancies have been so similar so far that I'll be shocked if it's a boy. That shock would mostly be because I don't have one of those yet! Ha! I feel like I'll be equally shocked if it's a girl because I would be thrilled for Selah to have a sister - something I don't have. I have had days of getting super excited for either though, and I just can't make a good guess. I can imagine and desire both, so too bad I'm not having twins. Ha - joking. Though I obviously wouldn't oppose it, I am trusting God knows exactly what I can handle well at this time!! :)
Cravings/Aversions: I still can eat anything sweet at anytime. It's weird. Last time I remember thinking how thankful I was to not feel like overeating or eating a lot of one thing. I try to be pretty picky about being healthy, especially when I'm pregnant. This time I'm a little weirded out that I am so into sweets and dessert type things...I'm not even like that much when I'm not pregnant! As of the last appt. I hadn't gained much weight...we'll see how we're doing next week! I am also a huge fan of any and all fruit at any time. And lately I've loved a good salad (which is generally true, but usually I can't keep it down during the first half of pregnancy)....so maybe that evens things out.
Baby movement: Happening right now, most often in the afternoon, (when I rest), and at night, (when I rest).
How I feel: Well, even though I weigh less than I did now than at this point in my pregnancy with Selah, I feel somewhat huge and frumpy. Not sure if it's a winter thing or what, but I can only imagine what I'll feel like when little love is full grown in there!! Oh my. Last time I lived in sundresses, skirts, and tanktops...and had a tan, so I don't know. Maternity jeans and sweaters feel a whole lot different. But seriously who cares. I love my ever expanding belly and I am not one to stand in front of a mirror analyzing myself. That's the beauty of being almost 32. No thank you to self criticism and comparisons. I'm thankful for this body and even for what these most precious little children add to it. Wouldn't give it up for anything. (and I'm sure my What to Expect emails will not delay in sending me workout tips after I have this one...that took me by surprise last time...especially after months of telling me to remember to feed my baby! ;)
What's going on with us: Selah is funny with as much personality and energy as ever. Wow. We keep quite busy at home, but take great naps! :) We put up our Christmas tree and have been listening daily to the Steven Curtis Chapman holiday channel on Pandora since Sunday. For some reason this year more than any other I have been aching to get this Christmas spirit started. Maybe it's because Selah is old enough to notice and start some traditions. I'm not a big Halloween fan, and I do love Thanksgiving, but I don't go by any set of holiday rules. I say decorate when you want and enjoy as long as possible! (and I'm a super duper procrastinator...last year during new baby times, I'm not sure the tree ever got fully decorated. So I've been pretty determined not to miss out this year.) At the end of the day...I'm sure it's nesting. :)
Can't wait for: Our appointment Tuesday and seeing our sweet one's face!! I think the reality of having two totally different kids will possibly start to hit me then. And I think it's such a turning point/bonding experience to have that ultrasound. Can't wait for details! Though I also pray heavily through my nerves.
One more thing: Have I mentioned that I'm kind of a looney tune, crazy person when pregnant? Well, it's officially true. I try to tell my husband this when he thinks I'm acting weird, but it seriously sometimes feels like I'm so different. Sometimes I think my emotions have a mind of their own. (That might also be why I sound different if I do!) I try to keep it together in public though, so don't get your hopes up for any good entertainment if you see me. ;)
What God is teaching me: That in this big crazy world there are so many ideas, philosophies, and much advice to be had out there...but I must first and foremost pray for my parenting of the two uniquely created little ones he's given to us. God has convicted me of this lately. I am learning to have confidence that he can uniquely and individually inspire and teach me with just exactly what I'll need as a parent, which might look different than someone else and their family. And of course I can always learn by others being inspired and taught by him as well! At the end of the day, as a parent it's always time to talk to him!