Well, my baby girl is 6 weeks old as of last Thursday!! Wow...what a journey so far! I've written a million posts in my head, and am thankful to finally be getting back to actually writing them down. Honestly, any free time last week was spent working hard on her nursery...and I'm excited to say that I'm actually close to being finished!! Crazy. Once I cut into that fabric I just couldn't stop sewing until it was complete. The changing table cover, the curtains, and the crib skirt are all finished. My last major sewing project is the crib sheet, (and a pillow if I get really ambitious), I have the mobile and one more piece of art to complete, then it's just minor details. So exciting. I rarely decorate to completion like I have with her room, so it will be a big accomplishment for me. :)
So that was last week, and the week before that I was especially tired. I feel like she really "woke up" between weeks 3 and 4, which means lots more fun awake time, but what feels like even less sleep for me. When we hit the 1 month mark Kevin and I both felt the repercussions of that first month of adrenaline. While I had adrenaline to burn those first few weeks, I reached a point where motivation was hard to come by. :) As far as alertness and discovering the world around her, that really picked up between weeks 4 and 5 as well. She hit 8lb almost right at 4 weeks, and I really learned how different an 8lb baby seems than a 6lb 12 oz baby, which is what she came home as. She's really started enjoying her swing, which I think was just a bit too overstimulating at first. But now it's funny how she'll just sit there as peaceful as can be. She also got extra smiley between weeks 4 and 5 too! She loves, loves her play mat and kicking the side to make it light up and make music. Hitting the 6 week mark has felt like a major milestone. All was well at my doctor's appt., and by the generous grace of God, feeding my baby has become so much easier. Starting on Friday we have no longer had to supplement...I am so thankful! What a joy that has been for me as I have worked ridiculously hard to get here. Totally worth it in so many ways. She is now eating about every 2 hours from the beginning of one feeding to another during the day, which I'm actually thankful for because it seems to be helping. She'll go about 3 at night. Which means I'm still only getting about 2 to sometimes 3 hrs. of sleep at a time. So the circles under my eyes remain. :) I'm adjusting to a new kind of beauty this season of my life. Including an unfortunate inability to fit into my clothes. Zumba is calling my name! Kevin and I also feel like we are entering into somewhat of a parenting rhythm with our little one which is awesome. The last two Saturdays have been beautiful, and we have been quite successful at some project completion, and feeling very domestic.:) I am preparing myself to totally soak up the next two weeks, as I can just imagine Selah will seem even so much more different as a two month old...who will probably be over 10 lbs!! Oh my.
It's been absolutely amazing to see all Selah's little changes each week. Of course my instinct is always to be sad she's changing so quickly...but I soon realize the joy in each new day and stage she's experiencing. God's creativity displayed in His creation is fascinating and more than we deserve. Right now she's sweetly asleep in my lap and I am savoring it. Because with our more efficient feeding and her waking up to the world, falling asleep in mommy's lap has become less frequent than those first sleepy days. The trade off is her ability to just "hang out" with us when she's awake. This morning she was stirring and before Kevin went to work we layed her between us and she was so sweet and fun, curiously observing and cooing at her crazy parents (and the ceiling fan of course!). We just marvel at who God has created this precious little girl to be. I just can't get enough for sure. What a blessing and a gift. She can also still squeeze into newborn size cloths, though she's especially long, so that probably won't last too much longer.
I have to say I've reflected often on my journey of not becoming a mom until being a 30 yr old, and how that was never in my original "plans." Now knowing mommyhood is amazing as I've always dreamed, I often wonder if I should be sad I didn't get to experience this much much sooner. But of course I would have it no other way. Had my story not been one of waiting I wouldn't have my incredible husband or this amazing daughter. Rather than being sad I have actually been quite thankful that God allowed my story to go as it has. He is the author of what is best for us, and I'm amazed at the thought of what a different parent I would have been even a moment sooner. I actually enjoy being a 30 yr. old first time mom, and honestly think in many ways Selah will be much better for it in my case. And I would have waited a million years just to get to be the mom of this particular little girl. Just more evidence that there's real beauty in how different each of our stories play out, no matter how that is.