Due but Not Done :)

Well, my due date has now come and gone...and we still wait on sweet little Baby Love. He or she is still cookin'! I had a great day today, starting with journaling and reading my Bible on the porch. I read some awesome passages in Psalms 77 and 78. Everything seems to carry more significance during this time of preparing and praying. I did have just a few weary moments of "due date discouragement," thinking okay NOW I'm finally ready...but still dealing with the unknown.

We did go to the doctor and she gave me 2 cm today. Of course still not a good predictor of anything, but I'll take it! Then I had myself quite the fun time at Sephora, playing with all the new products and fun, sparkly beauty goodness. Who knows when I will be doing that again!? Next Kevin and I used a gift card and enjoyed a yummy celebration dinner...the server was awesome and surprised us with the most amazing slice of chocolate cake to celebrate this milestone. After that we headed to Starbucks and Target, completed our "prepare for hospital" list, and came home to take some due date photos, Chai included. :) I'll have to share those later, as I can only blog on my phone tonight. I thought I would end this special day with a letter to my little Love bug.

Dear sweet Baby Love,
Your mommy and daddy are ready and excited, praying for God's perfect timing to bring your precious and priceless life into the world. What joy you have brought us already, watching you grow from a poppyseed into a squirming little pumpkin. It has been the most special experience of my life to feel you grow, move and live inside my womb. So many scriptures have become more powerful and alive since you were conceived. Never doubt God's unfailing love for you, sweet child of mine. He has knit you together and carried you to this time, hours or days from completing his masterpiece. Always know that He will never be finished with you though. You are about to embark on an amazing adventure as a creation of the King, and a powerful process of being shaped by love, defined and refined by grace. Your daddy and I are committed to rely on the God who made you to show us the way in raising, teaching, leading, and loving you well. I'm already amazed and changed by your life, and we haven't even looked into each other's eyes yet. I pray we do soon. I already want to hold you, protect you, and be changed forever by my love for you. My heart beats faster at the thought. You are a real life dream come true for me. For as long as I can remember, since I was an itty bitty girl playing mommy to my own favorite dolls for hours on end, I hoped and longed for the day when my own real life baby I would hold. Then God blessed me with many years of caring for the sweet little ones of others, which brought me so much joy, yet still left me longing. While those experiences taught me so much, each child I was blessed to know and love only increased my desire for you. The many times of waiting and wondering were often difficult, but it was all so worth it, as we're on the brink of meeting you. The reality of you has already been more wonderful than I could have ever imagined.

I love that you seem to wake up moments after I do each morning, as crazy as it seems to me. I also love that you seem to respond to the worship music I love and sing so much. One of our favorite songs has been "Praise the King" by Cindy Morgan. That is exactly what I want to do every time I feel your life inside me. If we've learned anything this pregnancy, (and we've learned a lot!), it's to be still and trust God. I pray you will trust Him with your whole heart and life. He will never leave you or stop loving you...He adores the beautiful child He's worked so hard to create with care. The verse God gave your daddy the other day is one we are taking into the delivery room...Exodus 14:14 says, "The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still.". I ache, long, and pray to have a gentle and quiet spirit, one that ruthlessly and fearlessly trusts in my almighty Maker. I'm listening to our "hospital worship playlist" and I just listened to a song I will sing to you and we will pray for our family often-

"Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face. And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace."

You are already a light for the whole world to see, and we give God all the glory for every ounce of you and every moment of this experience. Oh, how He loves us!!! And we love you so much Baby Love. My heart is overflowing with joy because I get to be your mom for life. Your daddy and I treasure the unbelievable gift you are, and we thank the Lord many times a day for your little life! We're so excited to meet you, my amazing firstborn. In God's beautifully perfect timing we soon will!!! I love that you already know the sound of my heart and can hear how it beats with joy for you. Holding you will be one of the sweetest moments of my life. Until then, I will continue to embrace and enjoy you in my womb. I pray we have many amazing days in the adventure that awaits us together in this life. The beginning of you has already been one of the greatest adventures ever, your daddy and I would both agree. We also know that this is just the beginning of so much to come.

You are forever deeply loved by us...but even more loved by the One who made you. I pray you have eyes that see, ears that hear, and a heart that seeks how wide and deep and high His love is for you. Seek and you will be sure to find Him. I pray you are forever courageous to let your light shine for Him.

Whether minutes, hours, or days, my arms long and wait for you...we are beyond excited to get to know you!

I'll love you forever, I'll love you for always,

Your honored and privileged Mommy

1 comment:

Ashleigh said...

Yea!! Hang in there! I should have told you this before but we planned a date night for the day after my due date so that I'd have something to look forward to if I went past.. which I did. :) And obviously if we hadn't made it to date night, things would still be fun because that would mean she had come on time! Still, it was a wonderful last date night the two of us. Maybe you should plan that for tonight? Praying for you!!