8.29.2011

2 Days To Go!?!?

39 1/2 weeks pregnant!

Well good grief, where has the time gone my abandoned bloggy friends!!??  The tummy tells the answers, I'll tell you that much! :)  Wow, it all comes down this last month - just when you think you're going to get by without waddling, stretch marks, needing an extra push to get out of bed, a big appetite, sleepless nights...pretty much all those symptoms they tell you about in your "What To Expect" emails come along right at the end!  I sure enjoyed my 8 months of denial and naivete though, I'll tell you that much! :)

Our 39 week doctor's appt.  Will we have another one this Wednesday??

So I'm still here, no baby yet, still embracing all things pregnancy.  If the first half of my pregnancy was crazy, so has been the second.  Our second car ended up dying about two months after the first, (which died on my way home from my first baby shower), and we have officially gone almost a month driving different cars loaned to us by gracious, amazing friends at different times.  Wow.  God is amazing with His provisions as always.  And on the day that picture was taken in front of the cabin, (July 17th), we actually had just moved all our stuff out and were on our way over to move back in with the sweet and gracious couple who had taken us in for 9 weeks at the beginning of my pregnancy.  And shortly after that photo was taken I found myself in the parking lot at Starbucks with my Bible having one of a handful of "weep fests," those times where you just have to let the tears flow and surrender all you've been holding in.  I love the verse God gave me on that day too.  "Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past.  See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."  Isaiah  43:18-19

Kevin was out of town one night last week so my mom came and my brother surprised me by coming as well!  Fun 39 week pre-baby memories made!! :)

He will no doubt be a fabulous and FUN uncle!

After church at 38 weeks

Kevin miraculously fixed the washer after it endured some pain through all the different moves it endured.  This was a proud day for my handsome hubby!!

And a new thing He has certainly done.  I am happy...or should I say OVERJOYED to say that as of a week and a half ago, we have a place to call HOME.  It is so wonderful.  Also, as of TODAY, we have decided on and bought a car!  Whew...what a process.  I might win the prize for being closest to my due date before I have the car seat installed.  It's all been such a long road, but so worth the wait.  Last night a handful of friends from church came over to pray over our home and me for the labor and delivery, and it was a special, wonderful, powerful experience.  God has humbled me a million times over during this pregnancy.  Kevin and I have cried and prayed, fought and laughed, felt filled with hope and have honestly struggled with serious anxiety at times.  Yet we have held fast to the truth that God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow, and He is for us.  He is not afraid of our emotions, and He can certainly handle whatever we dish out. :)  And He has known what He's had in store for us all along...no matter how long it's felt like to us.  It has all been a priceless experience that we never would have sought after, but we know God will use forever in our family, our lives, and our ministry.

My mom brought baby clothes that my brothers and I wore!!  Can you say sweet, sentimental take home outfits?!  She has been AMAZING in helping me to prepare, praying for this process, and sharing in our joy!

About the abandoned blog...I have no good reasons.  I honestly think this road leading to motherhood has been such a huge emotional and mental experience for me that it's been hard to put into words.  Or maybe I've just avoided coming face to face with the depth of the experience and being able to write it down??  I also obviously can't seem to work out a short blog post...so I know it will be an investment of time.  Who knows.  Today I made myself come to church to get on the internet, (because we don't have it yet), and this might sound funny...but if I have to choose between going somewhere to get online for an hour or two and going home to be with Chai, I'll choose him and home every time.  I will find my way back and get my blogging groove on though...especially now that I have our big comfy red chair out of storage as my place to sit and surrender my thoughts again.  AND I will surely be more consistent because very soon I will have a beautiful, amazing, wonderful baby to reveal!!!  We are SO ready to find out if this is a boy or girl!!!  (The guesses are about 50/50...I'm clueless and will be shocked either way!)  Because we've had names picked out for both for a long time, and we've referred to either/or for a long time, I kind of feel like I should be having twins!  Yikes! :)

Look at that belly...I mean baby!!!  Can't wait to meet you little Love!

I have truly embraced every day of the privilege of carrying this precious child, and I praise God each and every time I've felt this sweet Baby Love move.  The heat has been hard, but the dresses and tan have been great.  The emotions have been crazy, but the tears have been refreshing.  Motherhood started for me at the beginning of this adventure, having to surrender this child that I know is ultimately God's, but He is graciously allowing me to hold as my own.  I know every day I have to trust Him with his or her life, and I can only imagine how much greater the magnitude of that will be once I hold this little one in my arms!!  I can honestly say while I've loved being pregnant, I'm ready to be a mom.  God has made beautiful things out of all the years He asked me to wait and pray for the dream to come true of having a family of my own.  And I am so thankful that He's choosing now to bring those dreams to life. 

Tired mommy, finished crib...the night before 39 weeks.

Super excited Daddy putting together the crib!

My sweet, furry first born!  Get ready for some fun Chai!!!

To any frantic pregnant women, take it from me when I encourage you to simply be still.  Psalm 46:10 is one of my favorite verses in the Bible, a huge inspiration for one of our names, and what has carried me through many days of this journey.  "Be still and know that I am God."  I finally packed my hospital bag at 37 weeks, we didn't have a nursery until I was almost 38 weeks pregnant, and we put the crib up a day before I was 39 weeks.  The room still isn't finished...but I at least have the fabric ordered!  Ha!  As for all those projects...I am hoping to have them all done by the time the baby is 6 months old.  ;)

This experience has proven to me over and over what really matters.  And so little of what the world focuses on has much significance at all in light of eternity.  But I am so thankful God allows us to delight in the little, fun, frivolous things...like elephant hampers, front facing bookshelves, and aqua colored paint!  Ooooh...speaking of which - after months of deliberating and obsessing, I LOVE the color.  Which, for a perfectionist like me, is a huge blessing.  (Because I certainly wasn't going to ask my husband to repaint it...no matter what!!)  I am trying to make myself wait to show you once I get it all put together.  So be on the lookout around October or November.  Ha ha.  And you know I will insist on telling the untold stories, sharing the pictures, and filling in whatever I've forgotten, whether it's after the baby or not.  I can't leave anything out, but I just can't fit it all in. :)

Okay, that's all for now...time to get back home and take a nap!  I'll get back with you either a few times before....or not until the big reveal.  Who's excited!?!?  (My hand is enthusiastically raised!;)  Thanks for sticking with me friends.  Happy Monday!

9 comments:

Amy Bowman said...

I loved reading this post! Takes me back to the days! You look so very beautiful and that hubby of yours--my word his smile!!:)
It is a rollercoaster time in your life, I love that you are taking in the moments and enjoying the ride! Thinking and praying for you and cant wait to see little one!!
ps..you must keep blogging at least occasionally!:)

Tiffany said...

I am, I am. I can't wait to find out what you are having. And I am vicariously living through you right now desperately wishing I could relive my first pregnancy and the blissful moment of becoming a Momma. It is so surreal and amazing. I am so excited for you and for that baby to come into this world with two parents who are dedicated to the Lord first and foremost. Enjoy these last few super exciting days. : )

Lori said...

Page I loved your post! It reminded me, that even now that Annie is here, God knows and loves her so much more than i ever could! (and will most surely get my through this crying, tired, stressful stage!). Good luck my dear friend - I will be thinking of and praying for you.

Callie Nicole said...

You look adorable! Praying for a quick and safe delivery!

Anonymous said...

Page, I was blessed by your blog and will lift you and your dear little one up...seems like only yesterday I was in your shoes. Now the baby who "wouldn't come" (he came a week late) is a 16 year old fine young man that I can't believe God entrusted me to be his mom. You and your hubby are in for an incredible experience and your baby will not only be cute as pie...but (I think "she" ;) will be raised in the pure love of Jesus with two incredible parents. I don't know you, but I love you.
Signed with love,
Your sister in Christ,
Bethany

Cindy K. said...

I'm so happy for you. We never know what blessings God has in store for us as we wait patiently at times. You look great. I think it is super that your mom and brother were able to visit with you. So sweet and wonderful that your mom was sharing in your preparations of your first baby and her first grandchild. Special memories :)

Elizabeth said...

Page,
I loved this post as well. Even now as I am expecting my 2nd little girl, I am reminded about how I felt with Adeline. There is nothing like expecting your first little baby. What a joy! (Don't get me wrong, #2 is just as special, just in a different way). I'm confident your little one is going to be blessed beyond measure to have you as his Mama. And as you already have said in your posts, remember that even though you love your little one so much, our Lord loves them even more. He's got you and your little one in his very capable hands. He loves you with an everlasting love. :)

Melanie said...

You look wonderful Page!!! Was thinking about you alot recently and wondering how you and baby were holding up! So glad to hear about all that God has been doing in your lives recently..He is such a blessing to us! Don't worry about blogging..it'll come to back to you..I'm still struggling to get back into the groove myself (Makayla is 3 months old now!) but being with family is more important! Take care of yourself and can't wait to hear about your little one!! I'm guessing girl!

cait said...

so excited for you!! I can't believe I missed this post...I've been absent from blogging too for obvious reasons. :) I needed to hear many of your words on being still and just taking it in. Day by day! :)