I am 34 weeks pregnant....only 6 weeks away from meeting our sweet firstborn!!! (Unless God and the baby have other plans of course!) Wow. I don't know that I've ever been in a more reflective or emotional place in all my life. I am not feeling frantic, just overwhelmed with more emotions than I can count. I vascillate between being nervous in my head that I'm not ready, and knowing in my heart that so little of what I think needs to be done to "prepare" will really matter when he or she comes. Most of all, I am just so excited and in shock that all these years and months of waiting are about to result in the most amazing miracle ever. I am so thankful.
Pregnancy Fun Facts:
Size of baby: Apparently the size of the baby should be a large canteloupe. After the last several weeks of feeling my little wonder baby move, I now understand why these fruit shapes are so round. Because the little one obviously curls up in a ball several times a day. (Someone kindly reminded me where we get the term "fetal position." ha.) His or her little bum rears out at me in the same spot right above and to the left of my belly button. In the last couple of weeks it's gotten stronger and stronger. (Ouch!) I just can't get enough of feeling this baby move though - it's amazing.
Gender: It's hard to believe we've stayed so strong this long and are so close to finding out by meeting Baby Love. I will say it's been challenging though. Especially when others around us are finding out and planning accordingly. I spend an equal amount of time imagining life with both....and know either way will be just so precious and perfect. I honestly am completely torn...no secret feelings of what the baby might be! I will say that people over 25 generally guess boy, and those under 25 guess girl. I think that's funny. We'll see who gets it right - kids or adults!
Baby's Name: One thing that surprised me the most was how soon we felt complete peace and excitement about our names - all the way back around February. Being as indecisive as I am and dealing with some 'fear of commitment' issues, I always thought I'd be scrambling at the end. But when we got pregnant we began praying boldly and often that God would lead us to a meaningful name for our child. Kevin was so good about encouraging me to trust that He would. And He did - pretty quickly. Once we decided we didn't have a doubt in our minds. I can't wait to see which one we get to give our child!
By the way, the only person we've told is a sweet lady on the beach in Naples, FL when we were on our 'babymoon.' I was just aching to say them out loud to someone. And it was fun!! :) But right after she walked away Kevin starting saying, "Hopefully she doesn't search us out on Facebook and tell everyone!" Ha ha. A little crazy...considering she didn't even know our last name! That said, neither one of us know that we could do this again...we're starting to understand why people find out what they're having and tell their names early! :)
How I'm feeling: I can honestly say I've reached the point where I often get excited about rediscovering what it's like to live without some unusual aches and pains. My back has struggled off and on this pregancy...ever since that crazy flu and rib situation...and lately my legs ache like crazy when I get up in the morning. Also, my hips hurt - especially after significant lengths of sitting. And unless I'm in a highly air conditioned place or in the pool, the heat is finally starting to get to me and make me irritable. My patience has always been oddly affected, ever since the beginning and those crazy months of nauseousness. I'm still loving the pregnant belly though - I don't think it will ever not be fascinating to me! No pain or annoyance has ever even come close to outweighing my joy!
Cravings: I never really have been overcome by any one food this pregnancy. Aversions for sure, but mostly my appetite has been weird - not a lot of room in there I guess! I think I struggle to ever really know what I feel like eating...as evidenced by the fact that Kevin has pointed out I like to eat part of whatever he orders, which apparently I've never done before!
Other happenings: I had another fabulous baby shower and felt so very loved. My sisters-in-law and mother-in-law did an amazing job this past weekend celebrating little Baby Love and his or her upcoming arrival into our family. The generosity of others continues to bless and amaze me! Those pictures will fill up a whole post, so I will work on that soon! Also, we finally moved out of that log cabin. Charming on the outside, yes - but tiny, spidery, and way out in the boondocks at the heart of it. We are grateful for our memories there, but thankful to move on. We have moved back in with another family, hopefully on our final countdown to our own place. We have learned so much about all the things God seems to be teaching us over the last 9 months. We have been living in the land of waiting on the unknowns, but are trusting that the endurance, resilience, and fruit that can come from that is worth it. (Possibly one of the contributing factors making the unknown of what the baby is more difficult!) And it has all been incredibly humbling - because we have come face to face with how little we really need, how much we have, and how very much we have to be grateful for.
Also, we have been LOVING our childbirth class. We have learned so much so far and can't imagine going into this process without being prepared in this way.
What we are looking forward to: We are SO thrilled to soon see this sweet face God has been knitting together in my womb. I can't wait to feel his or her skin, kiss that little head, and whisper my love to sweet Baby Love. I feel like the second I hold this baby I will breathe the greatest breath of peace I've ever known...and exhale all that's been building up during this process. We are of course praying that he or she spends as much healthy time growing as possible in there. (Oh, and I'm really looking forward to trying out cloth diapers!!)
Scripture I'm focused on: "Be still, and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10