(That's the log cabin!!)
(We decided on this night my belly totally looked like an Easter egg! Will we be painting it in a couple weeks on vacation?? Of course! :)
I am 20 weeks pregnant!!! Half way there, can you believe it!? We had our big ultrasound appointment Monday and stayed strong with our decision not to find out. Though that was a bit tough for me. The ultrasound tech was so sweet and let me ask a million questions. I told her how crazy it was that she is the only person in the world to know what we're having!
My sweet little dancer is having quite the party in me these days! It's the most amazing feeling. I would say if I had been confident about what I had been feeling that I felt movement for the first time around 18 weeks. A little kick or punch here or there. Then last Tuesday Kevin and I got mini blizzards at Dairy Queen, and while watching a movie I definitely felt Baby Love do some sort of swimming...it felt like a big bubble. Very cute and very exciting! (I think the strawberry cheesequake blizzard helped!)
Then came the ultrasound and seeing our precious baby!!! Wow. It was so emotional and wonderful and sweet. So neat to see how he/she has developed...and of course I think Baby Love is SOOO cute! :) It definitely made me want to hold and comfort him or her....though I know he or she is quite cozy and happy in there for now! We only got a couple photos of that sweet face because the little thing was being quite shy and facing my back most of the time. (I'll share those soon!) I just can't wait to find out if it's a boy or a girl...I do believe the surprise will be worth it, but the wait is hard!! After seeing the baby, then talking to the ultrasound tech/doctor about what makes him/her move the most as well as what that might feel like, I am very much more aware of the baby's movements. It's almost like I'm more in tuned to them because I saw the little one who's in there doing it! Crazy. And I love every second. I actually prefer to feel the movements as a reminder of my baby's life. So wake up little one!
I will say that these days I just want to let the tears flow. I understand the hormones will do that to you, but I also think it's by God's design. Letting your tears fall is so therapeutic, so natural to how God designed us. And they're such a reminder of our need for Him. I'm also not afraid to say I'm having strong moments of feeling overwhelmed lately. It's taking me a lot of energy to find something that I like to eat on a consistent basis. Still getting sick and feeling nauseous. And I'm so very tired. Both my mind and my body have definitely entered the mom world. I think a lot about being a good mom now and when the baby comes. There's so much I want to be doing more consistently. I'm also not at all a good shopper but in the next couple days I have to take the maternity clothes plunge. Reality has hit! I just so badly want to stay positive and enjoy it all. And truthfully I really am enjoying it in my heart - so fascinating and sweet, even if my body's having a hard time. :)
Other fun facts:
Weight gain: According to the doctor - 4lbs. According to me, (from the day I found out) - 8lbs.
Baby Size: Sweet thing is the size of a melon! (Maybe if he/she rolled up into a ball??) And the length of a banana!
Names: We have a boy name and a girl name, and I love them. I look forward to explaining their meanings and why we chose them to Baby Love. Isn't it crazy but fun how we all have such different tastes and ideas when it comes to naming children?! A special privilege for sure.
Nursery: I'm going for bright, whimsical, modern, and nostalgic. We'll see how that goes on a tight budget once we have a place to live!! Some of my favorite sites for inspiration are Oh Dee Doh, Project Nursery, Petit Collage, Etsy, and Layla Grace. The blog world is my best friend when it comes to help with this. Oh how I wish I'd been blogging when I got married! :)
Cravings: Food from one of our favorite restaurants that someone else prepares. Like a house salad with extra cucumbers, tomatoes, and croutons, with honey mustard and tangy tomato dressing, and a sweet potato and brown bread from Outback. Or crabcakes, mashed potatoes and warm bread from Mitchell's. Yum. Food prep and the smell of our own living space is the greatest challenge for me, unfortunately. (Not that we smell, but you know what I mean! :) Too bad this is the most budget friendly option!! And we've actually been living in other people's spaces since we became pregnant, so maybe this contributes??
Maternity clothes: My mom just got me some super cute tops and a pair of pajama pants. Just in time. Now I'm on the lookout for some cute skirts and dresses to live in!
Sleeping: Difficult. I have never ever slept on my side, so it's been a struggle for me. I also have crazy dreams. Last night I dreamt the baby kicked so hard that it's little toes came out of my belly. Then it crawled out the side of my stomach...and it was a baby doll with curly brown hair!! What?! No wonder I'm so tired and overwhelmed. Ha ha. I remember panicking and wondering if the doctor could put it back in to keep growing!
Other thoughts: We have been doing a lot of thinking and praying about the things we want to be most consistent with when it comes to our child. I think a lot about what I want our home to be like or the different routines I want to do with the baby. (Singing, reading, praying, etc.) We also started watching a 5 session dvd series called "Right From the Start," by Barbara and Dennis Rainey. We watched the first one this week and had a great conversation about the values we want to be the foundation of our family, and how we want to start discipling/training up our little one in the Lord. I know we'll have good days, bad days, and sleep deprived days, and always be in desperate need of God's grace to cover this!
Fun moments: The 20 week ultrasound, and the fact that my mom and grandma were able to come to town for it...feeling the baby move a lot more...wearing my first maternity clothes...having a sweet little 4 yr. old girl at church ask me what I was going to name the baby...having pics of our sweet Baby Love!!!
Verses I am claiming:
"Do not worry then, saying, 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we drink?' or 'What will we wear for clothing?'....your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:31-34
"Let everything that has breath praise the Lord." Psalm 150:6