Random Thought Thursday

Well friends, I know I went M.I.A again. Sorry about that! I will say that I AM TIRED. It's really kind of funny, because I had no idea fatigue could last this long, though WELL WORTH It!! It makes me feel like little sweet thing is growing like crazy! Last week the baby was apparently the size of a peach, then this week my phone said a lemon. Kevin and I both agreed we are either ignorant about produce, or our baby isn't exactly getting bigger, just morphing into different fruits!! Ha. Baby Center says he/she is the size of a large shrimp. Crazy! So awesome. My mom sent me a book I have been looking at for a long time called, "Praying Through Your Pregnancy" by Jennifer Polimino. I am loving it and really enjoy having guided prayers for the development of my little one. I feel like I am in constant prayer, constantly claiming Jesus over this baby. Talk about an experience that will grow you up quick and bring you to your knees. I am thankful.

Other fun facts about this past week:

* I had the unique opportunity of traveling to Naples, FL last week to teach my student. Wow. It was so incredibly and overwhelmingly beautiful. I am so thankful that God so graciously poured out quite the pregnancy hug! After being sick in this cold, wet weather, it was refreshing and awesome to sit on the beach, read my Bible, and pray. So powerful for me right now. There is so much God is teaching me, and I am just aching to share it with you all!

* This is the 8th week Kevin and I have spent living with the couple from church, and we couldn't have asked for a better experience. They have been so gracious and such an unbelievable blessing to us during this time. While we are growing anxious to get into our own place, we trust that God's timing will be perfect. (Preferably before the baby. ha ha.) We are excited about a new opportunity that has presented itself, and we'll be temporarily relocating to the cutest log cabin soon. I can't wait to show you a pic. This is real life Little House on the Prairie people! Definitely time to get that sewing machine out of storage!

* Yesterday I was 13 weeks!!! How exciting! I know I haven't been blogging, but I've been watching that little ticker thing up in the corner add up the days! Sometimes I am just in shock and say out loud, "I'm having a baby!!" Last week when Kevin and I were apart, (boo!), we both had moments of surreal realization. We are so very thrilled dreaming about life with a new addition. We are also trying to be very intentional about loving the time we have alone together. Other baby fun facts:

- I haven't gotten really sick since that flu catastrophe.

- I'm still healing from a cracked rib. Ouch. Sneezing and coughing are huge pain causers.

- My nauseousness sometimes feels like it's lessening (especially when I
was in sunny Florida!), but it still lingers and I'm not exactly back to being a food fan yet.

-That said, I do get sudden spontaneous cravings - like pears. I could eat two at a time.
Fruit is really the only thing that ever sounds good.
Before the flu it was salad with poppyseed dressing, swiss cheese, apples, and cranberries.
Also ores and milk products.
It is a struggle to eat any kind of chicken or meat. Ugh.

-I do have a little belly sticking out. (Not that I didn't before the pregnancy! :)
I promise I am getting my act together and will start
posting prego pics soon. But I'll most likely be in yoga pants. :)

-We are not planning to find out what we
are having! We are looking forward to experiencing the joy of surprise.
Also, we have name ideas that we've had for a long time, but are praying
a lot about it and unfortunately won't reveal until there's a little face to go with it!

That's about it for now. Sorry again for a picture-less post! Seriously thank you again for your kind and sweet words of encouragement - you all have blessed my heart so much already in this process!!


A Baby LOVE Post

Happy Valentine's Day!

Wow, wow, wow!!!  First of all, you all are so ridiculously amazing with your encouragement - thank you for rejoicing with us over this gift!  Also, thank you and welcome to those of you who are new to the blog!  Cait is the absolute sweetest for celebrating with us and posting about the baby.  It will be quite an amazing journey, I have no doubt.  This week or next I'll update you with pictures and stories of how I told Kevin and how we told our families. The following is the only "unpublished post" that I wrote one day, (Jan. 18th), when I was going crazy with keeping it in - now you know what happened to me! :)

Oh bloggy friends...I am seriously holding out on you!!!  And it is getting increasingly difficult!  I just can't wait until we tell you and the whole world that I am carrying our first baby!!!!  Joy, joy, joy!  Tomorrow I will be 8 weeks, and today we had our first doctor's appointment.  We were giddy anxious, and just so thrilled to be there.  We got to hear little Baby Love's heartbeat, and see the little peanut on the sonogram.  So crazy.  I am all smiles, and constantly pouring out prayers for this little one that God is knitting together.

How delighted I am to share this journey with you, just as I have shared my heart and the other happenings of my life for the last year.  God has already taught me just so much throught this experience, and I am in constant awe of what he is doing right here inside of me.  I dream of what's to come...a growing belly, (though mine's thickening by the second), feeling the baby kick, singing him or her sweet songs, loving Kevin more and more as I experience him loving this baby, and growing closer to God through a process I'm learning requires complete and utter trust.

This has a lot to do with why I had my little bloggy absence...because what do I say to you all who I usually pour my heart out to?!  I am nothing if not painfully honest, so keeping this between Kevin and I has been fun, but quite challenging at times.  Some other details:  I have been consistently nauseous since about week 5 or 6, except for a few hours at night.  I am exhausted!!  Always tired, and my preferred activity is laying down.  But hey, I did do water aerobics tonight!  :)  I don't crave anything yet...probably because I do not like thinking or talking about food.  Even so, I have worked hard to eat really healthfully - so much more than before I was pregnant.  Through it all I'm loving every second of all this discomfort, because I'm just so thankful for what it confirms to be true inside me. 

My due date was confirmed today as August 31, if there are no dramatic changes between now and then.  I have cried the most genuine tears of my life when I have shared this precious news with people.  And today, when I saw that baby - a real-life dream come true, the tears came fast once again.  My sweetest moments with God seem to be in the car when a song that goes straight to my heart comes on and I cry authentic tears of worship for this gift.  I am humbled, I am overwhelmed, I am so grateful.  My heart is exploding!

I also have to tell you this:  At the same time I have been rejoicing, I have never in my life prayed more earnestly or felt more deeply for those I know (and don't know) who have lost a little one or struggled to conceive.  This experience has shaken me and drawn out some serious prayers for friends, family members, and so many sweet, wonderful bloggers out there who are struggling to read this post without pain.  So please know that while I'll share the joy in my heart that I give God the glory for, I also deeply desire to be sensitive and loving to those who have wanted nothing more. 

Kevin and I found out we were pregnant the Sunday before Christmas, so it was more than sweet to hear so many amazing and powerful songs celebrating the birth of the most holy, powerful baby ever....and one particular song literally brought me to my knees with tears running down my face, so grateful for the baby God sent that changed absolutely everything for every single one of us; it is through him that Kevin and I are currently getting to experience a baby that is already changing everything for us. 


Baby Mine

I dream of singing this song to my own baby....

This baby...

is mine.

We are praising the Lord for our sweet Baby Love, due August 31, 2011!!!

"Not to us, O Lord, not to us but to your name be the glory,
because of your love and faithfulness."
Psalm 115:1


Making Fun of the Flu


Notice I didn't say "having fun with the flu."  This post could also appropriately be titled, "Making the Most of a Miserable Situation."  Trying to keep it positive.  Which is why I'm writing this post...to keep from going crazy out of my mind.  I do think I'm healing, which I'm so thankful for after the last few looong days.  I at least have the energy to feel like writing.  My congestion is clearing up, my aches are much less, I don't have a fever, and my violent coughing episodes are decreasing.  And I am PRAISING THE LORD I did not get Kevin's strep.  But let's back up and talk about that last symptom....

I think I CRACKED MY RIB from coughing!!!  Not. Fun. At. All.  It hurts when I breathe, move, cough, laugh, or get sick.  If you've ever had a rib injury, you know it's not a good one to have - no relief. 
How do I know I probably did this?  Because two and a half years ago I had bronchitis for the first time and did it then...6 weeks before my wedding!!!  Wow.  I have an amazing track record...and apparently don't know my own strength!  I think God appreciates my sense of humor (because, well, He gave it to me!), and just wants to make sure I have plenty of material. :)

So I guess this whole post is inspired by the other night when I couldn't sleep. I walked around aimlessly trying to pray and will my symptoms away.  (Kevin has been amazingly compassionate about getting up with me, by the way!!)  For some reason the only thing that made me feel better was thinking about and making jokes out of my horrific experience at Immediate Care when we found out I had the flu.  It was so bizarre and tramatic that it's funny.

It was about 8:30 Thursday night and they close at 9, so not many people were there.  I was sweating my guts out in the waiting room because I had taken 2 Tylenol, which were starting to break my fever.  Finally, this 20-something, girl-next-door looking, no-heart nonsense nurse called us back.  She took my temperature with the weirdest instrument ever and Kevin cracked a joke about it.  No smile.  Then she walked us back to the room and asked if I wanted a flu test.  THEN, moments I will never forget scarred me for life!  She came back in with two GIGANTIC q-tips, came straight at me, and jammed one up my nose as hard as she could...into places I didn't even know existed up there!  No warning, no kind words, NO gentleness!!!  It. Was. AWFUL!!!!  I jerked my head back and she shook her head and said, "I have to get it up there."  Like she was saying, "Sorry about your luck sicko, but this is your punishment for not getting a flu shot!"  (She didn't really say that.) 

Then she came straight at me with the other one - same sort of nightmare.  I pulled my head back quickly and Kevin said, "Do you think you could be more gentle?"  (He's not a big fan at this point.)  She shrugged her shoulders and said, "Sure."  (No, actually, I don't think she can.)  When she left I burst into tears.  It was just awful.  I was sick out of my head, overwhelmed, and felt like a 12 year old being bullied by the mean girl!  I have thought many times since then all the wonderful things I maybe should have said to her, or maybe should compose in a "friendly" note.   Which I will not be sharing here, because it's not quite Christ-like.  (Use your humor for good, Page.)

(Now this is funny...I see a Christmas present in her future!  ha ha.)

I'd like to say that was the end of it, but then the eccentric doctor came in.  In the midst of diagnosing me and making me wear a mask so as not to contaminate anyone else, he told us all about evolution, the strong surviving, and something having to do with penicillin and war (it was WEIRD).  Then SHE came back in with a sharply pronged instrument to check for strep...you can imagine - she crammed that thing down my throat and I thought I would lose my mind. 

Thankfully, I didn't...well, you can be the judge of that.  As we walked out I made some sort of joke about how the experience had been enlightening, entertaining, and painful.  For all to hear of course.  Come to think of it, I'm going to wish I had a picture of that ridiculous night some day.  For now, please continue to enjoy my Adventures in Fluville for me.  Because I am praying for the first ticket out of here. 

Come back tomorrow or Wednesday.  There's so much more to this story.  And trust me...you're going to LOVE it!!!


The Flu - Boo!

Well, this week has been tumultuous to say the least.  Kevin found out he had strep on Monday, and we just found out yesterday that I currently have a bad case of the flu.  Ugh.  It has definitely been pretty miserable.  It has been an exhausting week, but one covered in constant prayer.  It's amazing how God draws us so near to Him especially when we are desperate for his healing. 

A couple days ago, while I was up with a violent cough and congestion all night, I was crying out to Jesus and imagining the woman who reached out to touch him, believing he could heal her.  I was struck by the power that comes when we truly believe in an all-powerful God, and how much trust and surrender that requires.  Believing that he can and will heal, even when we feel out of control.  It requires complete surrender and awareness that we are weak, but HE is strong.  So I encourage you to take this often difficult journey of trust in the power of our almighty God with me, whatever your current affliction or weariness might be.  (And we would be so grateful for your prayers for our family!)

And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, because she thought, “If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.” Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.
At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who touched my clothes?”

“You see the people crowding against you,” his disciples answered, “and yet you can ask, ‘Who touched me?’ ”

But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.” Mark 5:25-34